Author: Heather Lea Campbell

Being Thanks

Blogs about Heather, christianity, faithfulness, testimony

I’ve been through a lot lately.  There was an incident at the residence facility that I work at that, quite honestly, gave me “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”  My mother just lost her house.  I’ve already told you about my car hitting a horse and getting totaled. Things at church are a little dry.  School has been, eh (plus I graduate in 179 days and am freakin out).  I’ve been pretty discouraged in many things.

But I remain in having hope.  I know that the Lord is faithful; I’ve attested to that many times.  I wrote about in the spring how someone said that my faith in His provision was “irrational”.  I still see Him providing.  I still remain hopeful.

Is this what you look like when you give
thanks to God in the “bad things?

This week is Thanksgiving.  I have so much to be thankful for.  I feel like God has conditioned me, no matter the circumstance, to count myself blessed and to give thanks.  Thankfulness isn’t just about being thankful FOR things, but being thankful IN ALL things.  God gives, and he takes away; but his faithfulness endures throughout it all.  Can you honestly say that you are thankful IN ALL things?  And I’m not talking about the “My life is crappy. But God is still good!” and gritting your teeth with a fake smile.  Christians do that all the time, and sometimes I feel like I hear “God is so good” when people are going through the “bad things” more than when they are going through the “good things”.  I’m talking about LIVING OUT thanks. Having a thankful SPIRIT.  Living each moment knowing that you are blessed in ALL things.

God has conditioned me to live this way!  Life is so tough sometimes. Sometimes I want to be the old, depressed, self-centered Heather that centered her problems on herself.  But God has taught me that life is so much bigger than me, that He has a bigger purpose set for me.  So when I am faced with a situation, I rarely have the attitude, “Woe is me.”  I brush it off my shoulders and wait for God’s greater purpose.  I am LIVING thankfulness.

My college pastor told me that this is a lesson that most people learn when they are old.  He said that I was blessed to have learned this now.  How much heartache am I saving myself? (not that I haven’t experienced any to get to this point ;) )

My encouragement to those reading this not to GIVE thanks, but to BE it.

(wow, that was a lot of CAPS.)

Another Ramble…what the cheese am I gonna do when I graduate?!

Blogs about Heather

I’m going to freak out for a little minute.

I hope you don’t mind.

I graduate in less than 200 days.  199 to be exact.  And I’ve been counting down for a while now. A. WHILE. It’s getting closer. And closer. It won’t let up.

Part of me is excited–I get to go literally wherever I want and do whatever I want.  I can move out of this small town and move to a city!  I won’t be in undergrad anymore (I feel like a babysitter to freshmen now).  I will have a degree that will mean something financially! (pshhh)

Most of me is terrified–What if I make the “wrong” choice?  How will I pay for this?  What if no one will hire me because I’m a girl?  My resume is nice, but is it good ENOUGH?! How will I beat all the boys?  Do I need to get married soon to continue in this  field?  WHEN will I get married?  Am I going to be single forever?  Lord, don’t make me like Paul or Jesus! God forbid!  What seminary should I go to?  Should I continue this Southern Baptist tradition, who won’t let me teach outside of small churches or being called “Youth DIRECTOR”?  Should I go somewhere that lines up strictly with my views, or more liberal?  My top 5 choices are in Louisville, Chicago, L.A., and New Orleans…can you all tell how scattered I am?!  In fact, that was only 4 choices! I can’t even count!!! How am I going to pay for this?! (I repeated this, but it’s important…and I can’t even count.)  Are my grades good enough for scholarships?  Do I really think I’m as smart as some of my friends who have gone off to Seminary? What will I do about my current position at Grace?  I’m starting to like this small town (gasps go off around me).

SIGH.

Time to make some decisions.  The Lord isn’t giving me clarity on anything at this moment, and I feel like I need to figure out everything NOW.


And I know this sounds ridiculous…but I feel like I’m deciding the rest of my life.  Usually where people go to grad school, they end up staying.

And this might sound more ridiculous (especially to all who know how independent and self-sufficient I am)…but I kind of wish I had that “ring by spring” so that a man could make all of my decisions for me.  Like, it would help me if I had a husband to dictate.  Gasps again.

What is happening to me?!?!

Okay, I’m done rambling. Again.

Me, Calm? Pshhh

Blogs about Heather, identity, spiritual gifts, testimony

Over the past few months, I have seen myself involuntarily becoming more and more like Christ.  Not that I don’t want to become like Christ; that is my biggest desire while I’m here on earth.  It’s just I’ll look back at the “Old Heather” and go, “Wow, I sure don’t like the same things I used to; the things in life that brought me pleasure are not the same things that bring me pleasure now.”

For example, I used to shake my booty to all kinds of music…and now I can’t stand to listen to the Top 40 radio station. I don’t think music has gotten “worse”, because I’ll look back at the things I used to kick it to, and go, “Why did this ever bring me joy?”

Of course I’m writing about something greater than my booty-shaking.  If you know me, you know that (minimally) I have a loud personality.  I speak out of turn, I laugh L O U D, I say what’s on my mind, and I am not the definition of “calm”.  I’m emotional, and that drives all the things I listed.  So I think about a few things that have happened to me in the last month–totaling my car on a horse on the highway at midnight, losing an eighth grade girl who means the world to me, and one of the residents at the girls’ shelter trying to kick down my door to kill me.  The Old Heather would have freaked out in each of those situations.  She would have cried hysterically.  She might have harmed herself, emotionally or physically.  She would have blamed God; she would have failed to see His mercy in any of this; she wouldn’t have looked at the positive; she wouldn’t have been able to testify of God’s grace through these situations.  Who I am today is not the same person I was when God chose my heart.  He has conformed me to the likeness of His Son in ways that are inexplicable.  I am still loud; I am still driven by emotions.  But I understand God’s purposes a bit better, and have been blessed by the Spirit’s gifts of discernment, wisdom, patience.  Even in a time right now, where I’m having a dry patch with the Lord, does He call on me, choose me, and change my heart.  I don’t deserve any of it.  And this blind-sided me; that I would ever go through situations like these and BE CALM IN THE LORD.

“since I got that call, no more Saul, now I’m Paul.” –Kirk Franklin, “Lose My Soul” with Toby Mac.

Grief.

Blogs about Heather

So here I am, it’s 1:10 am…I have an 8 o clock class, then a meeting, then a funeral.  And I’m sitting here bawling my eyes out.

Last weekend, three students went on a joyride that ended in their death.  I was very close to one of those girls, who was in the eighth grade.  I have had the privilege of watching her grow over the last two and a half years.  There was a new church plant in town, with an overwhelming amount of students who attended.  I was in the beginning of my sophomore year, and eager to serve here.  She was one of the first girls I encountered, and she instantly loved me.  Her group of sixth grade girl friends adored me, and I secretly favored them as well.  They were spunky, loving, and made me laugh.  They clung to every word I said.

I felt called elsewhere, and sought that calling out.  A year ago I received the call to my current church, and although I was excited to lead a youth group, I was torn to leave these girls.  When I told the new youth minister there that I needed to “break the news” to the girls, he seemed very nonchalant about it, like I was going to tell them, and the night would be normal from there.  He hadn’t been there long and didn’t realize my connection with the girls.  When I told them at the end of the night, there were a few who sat, cuddled, and bawled our eyes out.  I remember how hurt they were that I was leaving, and I kept trying to get them to understand.  I told them they could follow me, but to really pray about where God wanted them.  They all stayed with that church, yet I maintained contact with them through Facebook and random run-ins around town.  I was still able to help them out in many different situations. I love them so much, and consider them a huge part of my development as a leader.

This last summer, I was in Walmart, and I hear, “Are you Heather?”  I turned around, and I see a woman and a little boy.  The woman says, “I’m Gabi’s mom.  Can I give you a hug?”  We shared in a great embrace, and she expressed to me how much I meant to her daughter, and therefore to her.  She shared with me that I probably thought she was crazy, but that I was very influential to her ornery daughter, and that Gabi looked up to me.  That is one of the most touching moments I have ever had.  I never had a student adore me as much as she did, and quite honestly I had never loved students as much as I loved her.  Since her, there have been a few that I have felt that same love and desire to see grow, but she was really the beginning of that for me.

Gabi had really struggled this last year.  In fact, her father had just died two weeks prior to her death of cancer.  I don’t want to go into familial details, but there is a lot that has happened in her life, both positive and outwardly negative, in the last year.  She was really struggling in her walk.  But when I think about how God looks at us, I don’t think he saw her as a sinner.  I think He saw her as an eighth grader, who had a sincere love for Him and desire to follow Him, but was an eighth grader.  I have no doubt that I will see her again.

So here I am, bawling my eyes out and remembering all the times we have shared.  This girl was gorgeous, a real heart-breaker I’m sure.  She was spunky.  She was hilarious.  The life of the party.  She could be really mean sometimes, but very devoted to whatever emotion she was feeling ;)  She had amazing friends, who were in the same place spiritually.  They are hurting.  I want to hug them and never let go, so they won’t leave me too.  It sounds selfish.  My greatest desire is that they can use this to move on and live their life like Christ would–remembering that choices have consequences, we are not invincible, and that everything we do is for the glory of God.  Even dying.

Ugh…I miss that girl.  But I’m so happy she is in heaven with her eternal Father.  I must quit bawling now.

Heather Hits a Horse

Blogs about Heather, testimony

My sister said that if my life were a Dr. Seuss book, that would be the title.

Why, you ask?

Two Saturdays ago (October 1) I was driving back from my job in a nearby city.  It takes me about 40 minutes.  It was about midnight, and I wasn’t too far out of the city, when I saw a horse in the left hand lane (my lane) of the highway.  I immediately gasped, braked, swerved.  Just that quick.  I totaled my car on the horse, and the horse died instantly.  You can read more about it in the following (hilarious and misspelled) article from Southwest Baptist University’s paper:

While this article catches the humor involved in this incident, it didn’t really talk about how good God was in this situation.  I had been thinking a lot about the Holy Spirit’s role in my life, and was listening to “Forgotten God” by Francis Chan.  I had been really into it, then the accident happened.  If you look close, you can see that there is no damage to where I was sitting, but all around me is totaled.

As the article says that I attribute my safety to “divine protection.”  I do.  I couldn’t have hit the horse more perfectly, for it to hit that side and then hit my back?  How nothing damaged me?  My windshield didn’t burst, my airbag didn’t bust me in the jaw, nothing?
I told my grandpa that the horse was bound to hit someone on the highway, and I’m glad that it was me.  I know the Lord, and I would have been able to see him; had that been someone else, who knows?  My Grandpa said to me, “The Lord obviously still has work for you to do.”
I already have a new car…everything happened so quickly.  Insurance companies don’t know what to say to me; I’m “the girl who hit the horse” to most people.  God has been extremely faithful to me, and I don’t deserve it. I’m happy to be alive, and I pray to GOD that I never see a horse near the highway again!

Some more vulnerability.

Blogs about Heather

Sometimes I wonder what to post on this blog, because most of the people who read it are in ministry, and I know that I get irritated with some of the blogs I follow when they post things that aren’t directly-related to ministry.  Most of the time I post about things in ministry that I am learning, or general life lessons as a result of things that I struggle with.  I guess I write this junk because I wish to read it more–life in ministry is not easy.  Life in general is not easy.  So I guess I wrote that paragraph to say, I am going to continue being vulnerable in my blog.  That is who I am.

A big problem that I have with my personality  is my sarcasm. When situations are tough, uncomfortable, and uneasy, I get sarcastic.  I make jokes.  I don’t mean to.  It’s how I deal.  I once heard that when we as humans are faced with an issue, we have to possible responses–laugh or cry.  For me, crying takes so much energy, especially when you are dealing with a tough situation and are in the spotlight.  It takes too much energy to focus on how crappy life is, to dwell on hurt, and to cry.  So I laugh.  I shake my head, chuckle at humanity, and move on.

In high school, I would tell my friends the things that I was struggling with, and they would ask me how I could possibly laugh through those situations.  I’d choke back tears and respond, “What else can I do?”  Nobody wants to be around a person who is sad all the time, even if they have “just reasons.”

Now that I work with teenagers a million and five hours a week, I have literally seen it all.  I work at a girls’ shelter full of girls who are highly medicated for anything you could ever think of.  I have had to learn to laugh at situations instead of stress myself out.

But there’s a line I need to draw.  I’m right in that when there’s a situation going on, I need to not stress myself out more than I need to.  I should learn to laugh at some of the things thrown my way.  I deal with stress really well this way; it’s my “coping skill” as we would say at the shelter.

The line I have to avoid is when I offend people.  I can chuckle at life, but I should not make jokes about it to the people involved.  I should be more aware of others.  Not everyone can handle my humor.  Especially teenagers (and especially the ones I work with at the shelter who are of lower social and mental functioning), who cannot comprehend sarcasm or most “adult humor”.

I am a work in progress. Dang, it’s so frustrating sometimes.  I’m reading two books right now on the role and personhood of the Holy Spirit.  I so wish He could take over my body, so I wouldn’t act like such an idiot all the time.  I am going to be actively seeking to change the way I use sarcasm to deal so that I do not offend others, so please pray for me.

Entitled…to what?

christianity, jesus, media, social activism

As Americans, we have rights: Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.  But we have other rights too, correct?  Right to a lawyer, right to vote, right to fair pay, right to etc.  All of our rights were fought for, and we still fight for them today.

We believe we have other rights, and although they may or may not be in the constitution, we still believe we are entitled to them.  We believe we are entitled to equality, a high-paying job, to be debt-free, successful relationships, success in general, etc.

As Christians (and also as ministers), we still believe we are entitled to things (not necessarily because of our Christianity, I’m saying in general).  We are entitled to that seat in church that “is ours,” entitled to eat first at the potluck, entitled to the best parking spot, etc.

Did Jesus have something to say about this?  Why else would I be writing this blog post?

And He began speaking a parable to the invited guests when He noticed how they had been picking out the places of honor at the table, saying to them, “When you are invited by someone to a wedding feast, do not take the place of honor, for someone more distinguished than you may have been invited by him, and he who invited you both will come and say to you, ‘Give your place to this man,’ and then in disgrace you proceed to occupy the last place. But when you are invited, go and recline at the last place, so that when the one who has invited you comes, he may say to you, ‘Friend, move up higher’; then you will have honor in the sight of all who are at the table with you. For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted.”  Luke 14: 7-11

Yesterday our guest-preacher at church talked about a “Mop Bucket Attitude.”  Even when you are the highest position at your company, you should still be humble enough to mop the floors of the bathroom. He gave to illustrations–When he himself was the school principal, he was the one who, for some reason, was called every time a toilet was clogged.  Perhaps it was because he was accustomed to having his hand in deep crap all day as a principal (cue laugh).  He also told the story of a young man who was beaten in Africa.  When he came over to school in America, the principal told him he could have any dorm room on campus.  The young man says, “Give me the room that no one else wants.”  The principal wept, as did I when I heard this.

I have been feeling extremely entitled when it comes to…everything.  “I’ve been here longer, so I should get more benefits.” “I am an expert in X, therefore you are lucky you are even being graced with my presence.” “I know more than you about X, therefore I should be the leader of this organization.” Etc. We all feel this way sometimes.  But what we need to be is humbled.

Phillippians 2 talks about how Jesus Christ, although God, humbled himself to be just as a man.  This is the “Mop Bucket Attitude” that we need. “Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.”  Not even that, but he died for men.

We have the show “Undercover Boss”, a show where the CEO of companies start at the lowest job in their company and see how things run, as well as attempt to do the “Mop Bucket” jobs.


The difference between this guy and Christ is plain: Christ was willing to do these jobs, and never complained.  Also, Christ is not a Cubs fan.

As Christians, we are called to abandon our rights.  Our life is supposed to be about glorifying God.  To hold onto what we believe we are entitled to is futile.  We are not entitled to anything, but death.  Yet God gave us grace, something that we SURE don’t have the right to have, and he sanctified us and made us righteous.

Green Lantern, Thi’sl, Fear, my new job, youth ministry…they all connect, I promise.

media, unchurched, youth ministry

If you have been reading my Twitter feed or my Facebook statuses, you probably know that now on top of being a full-time student and part-time youth minister, I also now put in 32 hours at a girls’ shelter every week.  This shelter is a transitional living setting for teenage girls who have a range of issues, with most being mildly mentally retarded (“low functioning”) and having anger/aggression issues.  They have either been taken away from their families, or their families have given them up to the foster system.   Most have assault charges, many from the shelter workers, and many from their family (siblings, parents, grandparents, you name it).  This is a tough job.  I’ve been having nightmares about these girls.  They are for the most part as sweet as can be, but they get mad from the smallest (and seemingly strangest) triggers.  And when they get mad, they are likely to get physical.  It’s a difficult job.

I’m passionate about teenagers and youth ministry, that is no secret.  I am working in a church, and I love it.  The problem I have had in church work is that I’m not dealing with “real” issues it seems sometimes.  When I left St. Louis, I knew eventually I wanted to do inner-city ministry.  I want to work with people whose lives have been traumatized by drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and abandonment.  These are issues that I know about.  I was needing something more than these “perfect kids” (which I am thankful for at times–makes my job easy! ;)).  This job gives me girls that, although aren’t in the “inner-city” area, have the same kinds of issues.

But they kind of scare me, something that I didn’t really think would happen.  I suppose it’s because if a girl with anger/aggression issues gave me a dirty look, the old me in STL could intimidate her back.  She cursed at me, she could get it back.  She fought me, I could fight her back.  But that’s the old Heather, a Heather who wasn’t concerned about how to help these girls, but how to not get my butt kicked.  So I’m fearful–how do I communicate with these girls, get them not to fight me, and spread the love of Jesus Christ to them all at the same time?

We saw the movie “Green Lantern” together last week, and the movie had a great message that I didn’t realize until now–we are to operate from will, not fear.  Will should be the guiding fuel for everything we do, not fear.  Fear is the tool of the enemy; the enemy uses fear to attack us.  We should be using our innermost desires to guide our actions.  For these girls, they want to be loved.  They’re fearful that they can’t so they operate from that fear.  If they operated from their will, they wouldn’t really use harsh words.  They would do everything they can to help others, to be kind, to be fair, and to be everything that Christ was and is.

Another thing that really spoke to me is the song “I Signed up to Die” by Christian rapper Thi’sl.  This song is about missionaries–whether local or abroad.  I was reminded that I am a missionary to these girls.  My responsibility is to be Christ to them, because they have never seen him and have no clue what Jesus was about. And what if they attack me?  What if they hurt me?  I signed up for this.  They need someone who is fearless of them, someone who is there out of love.  Love that can ONLY come from the Father.

Live such good lives so that when they speak against you as doing wrong, they’ll see your good deeds and glorify God. 1 Peter 2:12 (Heather Standard Version)

This is what I need right now.  They think I’m wronging them every time I discipline them or restrict them from doing things that they want.  But when they speak against me as hating them, they’ll realize that everything I do for them is for their own good, and out of Love.  Reminds me of how we cry out to God, “God, why do you hate me?  What did I do wrong?”  Yet God has never left our side, never forsaken us; always had our best interest at heart, an interest that desires for us to be like Him.  That’s my responsibility with these girls.

Happy New Year!

youth ministry

Gotcha! It’s August!

You just walked out your door hoping to see snow.  Boy were you confused when you started sweating.

It’s a new school year.  I don’t have any advice, as I am a busy busy girl and don’t have much to say.  I’m thankful that there are 170342 youth ministry gurus out there to give you all kinds of advice on how to handle the new year of youth ministry.

Why am I blogging then?  I’m blogging a cool idea!

We are having a New Years’ party at Grace Fellowship!  Sunday we have Promotion Sunday, then after service the hospitality committee is putting on a lunch, and we’re having hotdogs and milkshakes (snocones too!).  Then that night is a great surprise!  We’re having a New Years’ party.  They are going to make a list of New Years Resolutions, play some games that would usually only be played on December 31st, and more!  I’m pretty pumped about this idea.

Now, it’s super tough trying to find supplies in the middle of August.  I called every Dollar Tree and Party City and Hobby Lobby within a 45 minute radius.  Nothing.  But I have an Amazon Prime account, so I ordered a few things off of there that will be shipped to my door Saturday! Bazinga!

Another cool thing we are doing this year is an idea called “Blessing Buddy”.  Each person is going to draw a name out of a hat, and they are going to go out of their way to bless that person.  We tried this for a month, and I saw a few flaws in it.  One, the night we draw names not everyone is there.  It may be easier to just assign names.  Two, how do we bless them?  My youth are taking manila folders and filling out an info sheet about them, then attaching it to the folder.  If they wanna decorate it, hey.  Then we are attaching them to the wall.  Their blessing buddy can creep on their folder, and if they make something small enough to fit in there, they can.  Or they can leave instructions in there and lead them on a scavenger hunt to their real present….ooo.

Well, there are two fun ideas for you.  Let me know if you do any of them and how they go!

Questions:
How do you handle the New Year in youth ministry?
What are some new ideas you are excited to implement?

Christian Pet Peeves

Blogs about Heather, christianity

There are three things that annoy me the most in the world, and they all happen to be things that (some) Christians do.

1.  Bring politics into church.  I don’t want to hear how much you hate the president from the pulpit, in your Sunday School class, or every time we have a fellowship dinner.  I also don’t care whether you think America was founded on Baptists or Satan.
2.  Condemn people groups to hell.  Since when did man decide who gets salvation and who doesn’t?  How do you know you won’t see homosexuals, Mormons, Armenians, Democrats, or Rob Bell in heaven?
3.  Glorify man.  Your preacher is legit, but he is not God.

That is all.

I needed to vent.

What are your biggest Christian pet peeves?