Evangelicalism

Prenancy in Youth Ministry @youth_min

church, Contributions, leadership, women, youth ministry, youthmin.org

pregnant volunteers

This post originally appeared here: http://www.youthmin.org/pregnancy-in-youth-ministry/

Pregnancy in youth ministry:  Nope, I am not talking about your teenagers, I am talking about your ministers.  Starting a family is an intimidating thought to begin with, but trying to balance it with ministry is even more difficult.  Imagine being a woman in ministry: having to deal with morning sickness in Sunday School, the pregnancy leave from the ministry, the breastfeeding at church camp.  Trying to figure out the whole pregnancy thing brings so many questions, but mainly How can I do this?  

Women ministers, are you pregnant or thinking about starting a family?  While I have never been pregnant myself, I have done some research and talked with the fine ladies in our Facebook group.  Please chime in with additional advice in the comment section!

While You’re Pregnant

  • Decide how you’re going to inform your pastor, the church, and the youth group.  It is probably not the best idea to post it on Facebook and let everyone go crazy.  It will be much more professional and personal to do it in person.
  • Start preparing your volunteers to take charge of the ministry while you leave on pregnancy leave.  As the pregnancy progresses, you are going to have days where you are not going to be as reliable as you once were.  Prepare them so that if you have to leave the lesson to relieve your bursting bladder, they will be able to pick it up.
  • Make a plan with your husband.  How is this all going to look when the baby gets here?  Will one of you take a little extra time off?  What is your schedule going to look like once the baby gets here?
  • Realize that you can’t do the same activities you could before.  But just because you cannot zip-line or ski does not mean your students cannot!  There are ways for you to be able to go on trips with them without having to do the activities; and if you just can’t go, no one will blame you.  Do not feel like your level of commitment lessens—your students will understand why you do not want to tube on your pregnant belly (well, you might have to explain it to the middle school boys).

The Pregnancy Leave

  • Know your laws about maternity leaves.  Investigate what that looks like and talk to your church about how they will accommodate that.
  • Do as much preparation as you can in as much advance as you can.  Will your church hire a temporary youth minister, or will you have to equip volunteers to run the ministry while you are gone?  Whatever you choose, you will have to decide early on in your pregnancy; you do not want to have to decide these things and prepare volunteers to do your job when your hormones are raging, your back is hurting, and you feel exhausted and burned-out from a baby kicking your insides.
  • Decide your level of commitment beforehand—how involved will you be?  Will you be around and available to volunteers, or will you be strict about your maternity leave?  Will you even come near your church during this time?  You will need to decide these things.  Typically a maternity leave means “no contact,” but will that work for your ministry?  Most importantly—stick to your plan!  There will be people calling you up while you are still in the hospital unless you make it clear exactly your level of involvement during this period.
  • Do not be afraid to ask for help; you are performing life’s greatest miracle and need time to recover as well as spend time with your precious newborn.  You do not need to worry about a ministry on top of breastfeeding.  Relax and trust that everything will be fine while you’re gone.

After You’ve Returned to the Ministry

  • Realize that it will take some time to adjust, even after you return to the church.  Many women struggle with their emotions following having a baby.
  • Do not be discouraged when you find you cannot commit the same way you used to.  Fortunately you work for the church, a building full of God’s saints.  Even though the church may not always be pretty, no one can resist a baby.  No teenager will be mad because you missed the mud tug-o-war because you were taking care of your baby.  In fact, having a baby might unite your students in ways you never expected.  Realize that you have a youth group full of babysitters who will take your baby off your hands (and if not your students, their parents will be willing to help).  Every woman I have talked to has talked about how great their church was to them throughout their pregnancy and after the baby was born.  Trust that it will be fine.

Remember: You can be a minister AND a mom.  You will show your youth how to prioritize and balance God, your marriage, your new family, and your ministry.  Allow the Holy Spirit to lead your motherly senses. :)

And that’s what it’s all about (Church)

christianity, church, discipleship, friendship

It’s okay to go to church to see your friends.

I’ve always been told this is the wrong reason to want to go. I always told people it was the wrong reason.

But then it hit me.
Why else go?
You can pray at home.
You can worship at home.
You can read scriptures at home.
You can listen to a preacher at home.
You can grow closer to God at home.
Church isn’t for any of these things.  Yes, these things happen.  Yes, they are a part of it.  But going to church is about meeting with a community of believers to do these things and so much more.  And going to church isn’t the end of it…God calls us to live in community with His believers 24/7.  That means calling, meeting, and praying with and for one another.  And the church should end up being a place to see your most dear friends.
That is what church is about.

Discipling Disciples

christianity, church, discipleship, friendship, youth ministry

This weekend I met with my mentor.  And I always have to blog afterwards.
I was meeting my mentor at Dairy Queen, because one of the girls I spent a lot of one-on-one discipleship with at the last church I served at worked there, and I was in town visiting people.  As I was standing there waiting for Lydia (my mentor) to arrive, I thought about how funny it was that Mackenzie (the young lady I was invested in) had no idea of the impact Lydia has made on her life.  I told Lydia this, and she told me that she recently went to her mentor’s wedding and met her mentor’s mentor and was thinking the same thing.  So now Mackenzie has four generations of mentors accounted for above her.  I told Mackenzie, and she kind of shrugged it off (I mean, she’s 16 and was at work) but I think she thought it was pretty cool.
Visiting my college town the weekend before their classes started was strange for me.  I drove past a campus event, and looked out at all the fresh faces.  It was so strange to be around during freshmen orientation, and not have any “plan” or even excitement about the possibilities of investing in futures students… but I realized that’s why I discipled new students, so they could disciple the next line of students, and so on and so forth.
This is discipleship: equipping disciples to disciple.  We are called to be students and teachers at the same time.  When you think about the people you are investing in, think about the opportunities they have to invest in others! The thought is exciting!  I think about the students I mentor, and how they have friends, siblings, coworkers, even parents that they can invest in and bring truth to.  When you invest in one person, you literally have access to investing into the world.  Bam.  Exciting.

Don’t just "understand" the other side, EMPATHIZE.

america, Blogs about Heather, christianity, church, faith, freedom, leadership, lgbtq, love, sin, social activism, theology, unchurched
I have half a dozen or so documents in my laptop right now of “potential blogposts” of different rants and ramblings about politics; from Chick-Fil-A to the ability for a Christian to vote different political parties to my stance on gay marriage, I have been wanting to speak out for a while now.  But I have held back.  Why?  Because there are others who can say it better.  Because I’m no expert.  Because I’m still learning.

That is what I want to emphasize today in my all-encompassing post on politics, ethics, and anything else that seems to matter these days.  I am extremely irritated with the election, as both “sides” of the United States are exposing their dirty ignorance and disregard for people who do not agree with them.  It is this mentality of, “If a person does not agree with my political stance, which is the only way, then their entire character must be attacked publicly.”  One day I posted on Facebook, “I think it says a lot about President Obama’s character for him to visit Joplin a year after the tornado came through.”  I wasn’t making a political statement, just a statement of appreciation for the remembrance of a small town near me that had been devastated by a storm.  One parent of one of my youth wrote, “I think we should all worry about Heather’s character.”  Then a full-fledged debate began on my status about gay marriage, Obama being a dirty Muslim from Kenya, etc.  One of my friends wrote, “Shame on all of you.  This status wasn’t about any of that.”  And it wasn’t, but to many Christian brothers and sisters that I respect, a politician that they don’t agree with can’t have any redeeming qualities.

I think it’s extremely dangerous to claim to hold absolute knowledge of any subject.  I’m sure some of you are shocked, as I am a Christian and you probably are too; how can I say that I don’t know undoubtedly that God exists?  Simply, if I knew it wouldn’t be called faith.  I know it in my heart, but empirically I do not know that.  I’m not a skeptic, and I’m not saying that if I don’t know things, that I can’t express my opinions on them; in fact my faith in God precedes all other faiths I have and consequentially demands me to express that faith.  The point I’m trying to make is:  It is extremely important to be empathetic to opinions that differ from your own, for you do not know your opinions to be fact.  In fact, it becomes dangerous when you claim to know it all and aren’t empathetic.

Why?  Because once you claim to hold the key to knowledge on a particular subject, you get arrogant.  You push people away from you with your words and your attitude.  For example:  Those Christians who are outspoken about gay marriage push people who agree with it away; it scars the LGBTQQ community and its allies and pushes people away from the Christ who ate meals with prostitutes, tax collectors, and the self-righteous.  Christians (and everyone else) definitely have the right to discuss their opinions and alleged knowledge on a subject; but if we aren’t empathetic of the other side, we can and will push them away.  I took some time trying to understand the LGBTQQ community a few years ago when a group came to my conservative Christian university to speak out against our allegedly persecuting contract that we had to sign in order to be a student there.  Instead of pushing my doctrine, I took the time to listen; a time of learning and growth.  Once I heard the stories of how they’ve been treated by people inside the Church, I began to understand that it’s not necessarily my place to indoctrinate a homosexual upon meeting them (and that’s just the beginning of that journey).  It went without being said what I believed.  I spent time trying to be empathetic, not with the sole goal of strengthening my argument, but because there were things on the other side of the debate that I never even considered.  And my opinion, although not perfected today, has come a long way.

I think this is also apparent in the Neo-Calvinist movement within the SBC, trying to take it back to its supposed Calvinistic roots and forcing churches to adhere to them and teach them as if it’s an essential truth in order to believe in God.  Every time I found out someone that I knew was a Calvinist, I would judge them.  I am currently very sympathetic to Calvinism, but took a long time telling anybody; I was fearful that I would be labeled as an arrogant, close-minded reformer like many of the Neo-Calvinist leaders are looked at. Also, I’m not 100% sure on any of it.  I once thought I was when I was anti-Calvinist, and then I read scriptures and listened to people and changed my mind.  I might change my mind again.  But more importantly, why is it necessary to be sure on this topic?  It cheapens God’s sovereignty in my claim that I am all-knowing on any subject.  When we become face-to-face before God, we’re going to learn that a lot of our political, ethical, and even religious beliefs were wrong (I honestly can’t wait for God to go, “Heather, remember how you were so arrogant about __? Well, you were wrong, and there’s grace for you because I was more important to you than even that.”).

This goes beyond politics and quarrels within the Church.  This comes to our everyday life.  It is well-heard, “Before you judge someone, walk in their shoes.”  I think it’s dangerous to form an opinion, and especially to claim knowledge of a subject, without hearing all sides.  More than hearing them, but understanding them (taking their place and walking in their shoes).  Understanding a side different than yours takes more than reading a few books or listening to a few podcasts.  It takes learning from people, talking with people.  This should be especially true within the church.  We are to be in community with one another, and it strongly discredits Christ’s love for the Church when we break off communion with one another on topics that we haven’t taken the time to understand.  Maybe that person is a Calvinist because they don’t believe they could have found God without Him choosing them.  Maybe that woman hates hymns because she didn’t make it past 8th grade and has a small vocabulary.  Maybe that man isn’t a fan of small groups because his last one gossiped the entire time.  Maybe that man doesn’t come to church on Sundays because the only job he can find works those days.  Maybe that woman is pro-choice because her sister could have died in a pregnancy.  Maybe that Christian man is a Democrat because the fight against social injustice overrides the need to ban gay marriage.  Maybe that lady is for gay marriage because she separates legal marriage from covenant relationships.  Instead of judging people, understand them.  You don’t have to agree, but you don’t even need to tell them that either (with proper discourse, that will naturally come in a non-pushy way).  You just need to see people the way Jesus sees them: broken, fallen, and beautiful.  Christ sees you that way too.  You are just as much His bride as the rest of the Church; in fact, you are His bride together and that entails the need for empathy.  And at the end of the day, if you still disagree with them, that doesn’t mean their entire character should be shattered, especially if they are a follower of Christ; if you agree on the essential truths of salvation, then you are still a part of the Church and should edify one another.

Occasionally, you are going to run into a person who says while debating with you, “I’m listening to you, but I’ve heard this all before.  I’ve thought through this topic and have my opinion.”  This translates, “I’m listening to your comments, but I already know all there is to know on the subject and there is no new information you can give me.  There is no point in debating me, because I won’t change my mind but will debunk all your arguments in the most mocking way I can.”  THIS. IS. DANGEROUS.  I can’t tell you how much I have thought through, prayed through, and talked through different topics.  I may have strong opinions on subjects, but the day I claim to have it all together: please take me out of the local church before I infect people with my arrogant ignorance. Can you tell I am hurting right now?  Yes.  Because I used to be the person who was arrogant to think that they knew it all and only struck up debates to be the smart conqueror of them.  Because right now, people are discrediting me for being provocative in thinking and trying to be the “Devil’s Advocate” and understand both sides of issues.  But primarily because in a world where we have tragedies such as mass murders, children starving, public shootings, and great moments of glory like the young people beast-moding the Olympics; we are more concerned about our disagreement with a single politician or company that supports an ethic stance that differs from ours than for understanding our brothers and sisters.

ps, as I finish this post, I’m like “what do I even name this?!” hah.

Trying to Find a Job in Student Ministry?

church, youth ministry

It’s weird that this is my most-viewed post, but here it is:

Trying to find a job in student ministry? It can seem overwhelming trying to decide where to start. Here are some starter points:

Email some of your connections; you may find you have more than you think:
  • professors from your university or seminary
  • the head of your area convention
  • past churches you have worked for, preached at, or been in any kind of connection with
  • youth pastors in other churches
Here are some organizations that help connect you to the right church.
Denomination Websites:
Here are search engines that are specifically related to finding church jobs:
Here are some “general” sites that combine most sites (like Monster, CareerBuilder, etc) into one for easy Job searches:
Look on Christian university websites:
Non-Profit Organizations
Camps

A special thanks to all of you who have been sending me sites to add to this list! Wouldn’t it just be easier if there was one place for all listings?

Let Freedom Ring

america, christianity, freedom

I have been reading through Acts recently, and as I read I grew more and more amazed at the way the disciples would proclaim the message of Christ and the Gospel. Not only were they bold about proclaiming it, but they did so in areas where they weren’t free to do so; they faced persecution countless times. When I compare this to Christians in America, I am surprised—we live in a culture that has freedom of speech and freedom of religion, yet I rarely see Christians spreading the gospel.

I even see Christians go overseas and risk their lives over there to spread the message of Christ more than I see Christians over here spreading the Gospel. And they don’t even have to risk their lives over here. There are so many people right here in our neighborhood that need to know grace and salvation. Yet we don’t spread that message.

We are so blessed to live in a country like the United States of America. I’m not saying that if we proclaim His name, we won’t be persecuted because of our freedoms. If we are proclaiming His name correctly, than naturally we should be persecuted; the message of the Gospel is completely counter-cultural and provocative. I want to proclaim Christ in a way that takes full advantage of my freedom of speech, and I want to see my brothers and sisters do the same thing.

Happy Independence Day! :)

What I miss about Youth Ministry

church, leadership, youth ministry

Two months ago, I quit my job as a youth minister at a church in order to follow God’s will and move back to St. Louis to help out with my family. The last two months has been an extremely interesting time for me, as I graduated college and moved in with my grandparents transitionally, assisted in the transferring of my sister’s custody from my parents, and am learning what it means to rest and not do anything. I am job-seeking and often discouraged, because I miss doing ministry and can’t see my life doing anything else.

 Here are some things I miss about doing youth ministry (in no particular order):

  • Sword fights with middle school boys. 
  • Being in a library surrounded by exegetical commentaries. 
  • Having crazy stories to tell my friends and anyone else I force to listen about this week’s hilarious thing that happened to me/a youth. 
  • Rolling my eyes as the girls seek out “potential suitors” for me 
  • Teaching thrice a week…I love teaching. 
  • Discipling teenage girls one-on-one. 
  • Answering relationship advice from boys. 
  • Getting random gifts.
  • Helping students through sin in their life. 
  • “Excuses/Reasons” to be constantly in the Word. 
  • Being invited over for home cooking.
  • Students making fun of me because my car makes weird noises. 
  • “Thirsty Thursdays”—picking up teens from school and going to Sonic for happy hour. 
  • Commenting on every single one of their Facebook statuses…haha 
  • Feeling essential in their life when they need prayer for someone I don’t even know. 
  • I even miss being used as a chauffeur when they want to go to a sports game or concert and “need a responsible adult” to go with them. 
  • All-nighters.
  • Forcing Christian rap upon impressionable students.
  • Conversations about spiritual gifts.
  • That moment when I throw out some Greek and the HS boys think I’m legit. 
  • Working through crazy analogies with students, like “spiritual pants.”  I still am unsure about that one. 
  • Challenging students.
  • Being made fun of because I’m from the “hood.”
  • Building relationships with parents. Definitely one of my favorite things. 
  • Coming to my pastor when I’m worn out and venting without his judgment and getting straight-up counsel.
  • Thirty Hour Famine, camp, VBS, missions projects, all that good stuff.
  • I even miss complaining. I must be crazy.
  • The cards, notes, Facebook posts/messages, and hugs of encouragement from parents and other adults in the church.
I love ministry, and yearn for that time when I can do it again! :)

Value of Community

church, updates

I am twelve days away from graduation, and it’s starting to feel extremely nostalgic.  Who I was four years ago is completely different from who I am today.  It’s hard to even compare who I am to who I was, for God has done a great work in me; I’m sure that I will continue changing and perfecting in my sainthood as a disciple.

When I think my last four years at Southwest Baptist University, it’s crazy to see the way my life has gradually formed.  I have had so many groups of friends over the past few years, but my relationships with everybody have changed as we’ve grown.  This isn’t a bad thing; for I have learned what it looks like to live in community with people without seeing them every day.  This is one of the greatest lessons I have learned: community.
Growing up, I was drawn to the church because of community.  There was something about church that drew me to it, and I always assumed that it was “love” that I didn’t get at home.  I got love at home, but it was different at church.  This is probably the reason I loved youth group so much when I got to high school; I grew a family that I did everything with and that I sacrificed other things for because I believed in the group as a whole.
So college has affirmed these things and caused a paradigm shift in what church, community, and even my relationship with God look like.  I used to think that my relationship with God was “just between Him and me,” but I’m beginning to understand that this relationship is more about God and His Church.  I am important, and have individual value in His ideas; yet there is something more than the individuality that my culture has emphasized so greatly.  Worshipping God is about more than prayer, song, and reading the Bible; it can also include fellowship (and I’m not talking just potlucks).  Spending time edifying the church is an act of worship that is something I enjoy so much.  Sometimes we picture eternity and think, “Well what are we going to do all day?”  The Bible mentions that we will be worshipping God all day.  Our immediate thought (if we are really honest with ourselves) is, “We’re going to be singing all day? That doesn’t sound like too much fun.”  But worshipping God is more than just singing; it’s a communal act of just being His Church and giving Him glory.
So what does this perfected community, the Church, look like?  The Church is a community of broken people who exist to interact with their Creator…and with each other.  Our love for the individuals of the community is not based on conditions; this is something that I have heard but haven’t really seen in practice.  I have a dear friend who is the biggest gossip I know; she says the most awful things about the people close to her.  So many times I have wanted to give up and not be her friend any more, and then I realize that I can’t cut her off just because she’s sick in sin.  In 1 Corinthians, Paul tells a hilarious analogy of members of a body telling other members that they don’t need each other; if my foot had has a charley horse, should I just cut the thing off?  If my throat is sore, do I rip it out?  The Body of Christ is full of sick body parts; to cut members off because they have sin wouldn’t be beneficial for the body.  And I think about how irrational, arrogant, and impractical I have been to members of this Body; I have been thankful that people haven’t decided they didn’t need me when I wasn’t working the way that I needed to be working.  The Church helps each other through sin with humility, and is direct and truthful at all times.  The Church is also gracious, just as Christ was gracious.  And even when the community can’t get together as much as it desires, love for each other does not change even when the conditions do.
I keep that last thought in mind as I move four hours away.  Going to a Christian University is a unique opportunity; college is a time of “finding yourself,” but at a Christian college it’s more about finding out who God is and how that shapes your identity.  I have lived the past four years in community with people my own age, and it’s becoming the time for me to learn what it’s like to live in community when dispersed throughout the rest of the world.  I can imagine how freaked-out Jesus’ disciples were; they were with him, learning for three years.  Then Jesus left, and told them to get out there and do what He did.  Uh, what Jesus?  I’m not ready for this.  I haven’t learned enough.  I need you to hold my hand and show me how to do this right.  But Jesus left us His Holy Spirit to live inside the community so that we don’t have to do this alone.  So even though I might live in a different community, and learn how to do community with them, the Church hasn’t changed, and my community with those I’m leaving behind isn’t changing even though conditions are.

A “No Pain, No Gain” Theology

Blogs about Heather, christianity, depression, faith, faithfulness, testimony

I read my sister’s journal.  I don’t even feel bad about it.  She spent part of Christmas break at my apartment, and she left her journal behind.  Now I know from experience that if you truly don’t want someone reading your journal, you protect it with your life.  Not only did the girl not have a lock on it, but she left it chilling on my dining room table.  The girl was calling out for me to read it.
My family has been going through some interesting things lately.  My parents have both separately failed to provide and it has left them individually homeless.  My mother is living at a hotel and my father at his mother’s house.  My sister is left hanging in between.  There is a lot to the story that I’m not mentioning, out of honor to my parents and for the desire to protect my sister.  Needless to say, I’m angry about the situation.  I talk to my sister about it, and she won’t tell me anything negative about how she feels.  She tells me these stories of junk that they do, but shows no emotion.  I pry, and get nothing.
So when she left her journal, I jumped at the chance to read it.  And what I read, I felt.
I called her and told her I read it, because I’m a good big sister ;).  I asked her why she hadn’t been telling me what she had been feeling—because her emotions were deep and hurting.  She stated, “Heather, I’m a Christian.  God gave me these things to go through, and I just have to do it.  I can’t be angry or physically do anything about it because it’s the Christian thing to just sit through it and take it.”
What?
Since when did God command us to have no emotions?  Since when did God tell us to be content with the sin that takes place around us?
The sad thing is, my sister is not the only one who feels this way about her circumstances.  Countless Christians “just deal” with their situations because they feel that’s the “Christian” thing to do.  They say, “Well Job dealt with worse than me, and he remained faithful.”  Have you read Job?  Job remained faithful, but he also ripped his clothing and mourned over his circumstances.  Even Christ, when realizing that he would be sacrificing himself, asked God for another way.  Paul begged God three times to take the thorn in the flesh away.  These three men show us that there is no dichotomy to “being upset about a circumstance” and “trusting God.”  They can be synonymous.  It is healthy to feel emotions, even to be angry.  When you bottle that up and don’t express it, do you truly even trust God?  How can you trust God with your heart when you don’t even bear it to him?
I’m not saying you have to become “emo” and update your Facebook status every ten minutes telling everyone how crappy your life is.  What I’m saying is, mourn your circumstances.  Pray for the people hurting you.  If you have the power to change something that is hurting you, ask God for the strength to change it.  Trust that God will mold your desires to match his.  And rest in the promise that everything will work for the good of those who trust in the Lord according to His perfect will.

Being Thanks

Blogs about Heather, christianity, faithfulness, testimony

I’ve been through a lot lately.  There was an incident at the residence facility that I work at that, quite honestly, gave me “Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.”  My mother just lost her house.  I’ve already told you about my car hitting a horse and getting totaled. Things at church are a little dry.  School has been, eh (plus I graduate in 179 days and am freakin out).  I’ve been pretty discouraged in many things.

But I remain in having hope.  I know that the Lord is faithful; I’ve attested to that many times.  I wrote about in the spring how someone said that my faith in His provision was “irrational”.  I still see Him providing.  I still remain hopeful.

Is this what you look like when you give
thanks to God in the “bad things?

This week is Thanksgiving.  I have so much to be thankful for.  I feel like God has conditioned me, no matter the circumstance, to count myself blessed and to give thanks.  Thankfulness isn’t just about being thankful FOR things, but being thankful IN ALL things.  God gives, and he takes away; but his faithfulness endures throughout it all.  Can you honestly say that you are thankful IN ALL things?  And I’m not talking about the “My life is crappy. But God is still good!” and gritting your teeth with a fake smile.  Christians do that all the time, and sometimes I feel like I hear “God is so good” when people are going through the “bad things” more than when they are going through the “good things”.  I’m talking about LIVING OUT thanks. Having a thankful SPIRIT.  Living each moment knowing that you are blessed in ALL things.

God has conditioned me to live this way!  Life is so tough sometimes. Sometimes I want to be the old, depressed, self-centered Heather that centered her problems on herself.  But God has taught me that life is so much bigger than me, that He has a bigger purpose set for me.  So when I am faced with a situation, I rarely have the attitude, “Woe is me.”  I brush it off my shoulders and wait for God’s greater purpose.  I am LIVING thankfulness.

My college pastor told me that this is a lesson that most people learn when they are old.  He said that I was blessed to have learned this now.  How much heartache am I saving myself? (not that I haven’t experienced any to get to this point ;) )

My encouragement to those reading this not to GIVE thanks, but to BE it.

(wow, that was a lot of CAPS.)