testimony

A Pride of Pride

identity, testimony

I don’t think I knew I had a pride problem up until a month or so ago.  I thought I had a “normal” amount of pride, but I didn’t realize that this is something that I struggle with, something that I have to put an “extra” amount of fight into.

Pride is like a dandelion.  Dandelions root deep into your yard.  They are terribly hard to get rid of.  It requires digging them deep from the root, or even chemicals.  If you have just one dandelion, it could spread and infect your whole yard.  And if you are living next to a yard with dandelions in it, it WILL spread to your yard.  So sometimes we just ignore the dandelion.  Call it a “flower” when it’s really a weed.  We let it grow all over the yard, blend into our flower beds, and it gets out of control. Very easily. In order to get it under control, it requires almost daily maintenance.  It sucks.

Pride roots deep into us, and is incredibly difficult to get rid of.  In order to get rid of pride, we have to dig into the root of it (our innate desire to sin?).  It requires deep cleansing, deep chemicals to get rid of it.  It requires finding our identity in God, soaking ourself with the word.  If we are surrounded by people with pride issues, it is going to impact us and we are going to struggle with pride as well.  Sometimes, we choose to ignore that we have a pride problem.  We justify it by saying that our behavior is part of being someone in authority; or that it isn’t pride, it’s happiness or loving who we are.  When in fact, it’s our own conceit.  By justifying it, pride turns into other sins, and chokes the progress we have made and negates our progress.  In order to get rid of pride, we have to daily remind ourselves to be humble and get in God’s Word.

I don’t know when I started being prideful.  Perhaps it was there all along, perhaps it just developed, but that doesn’t seem to matter anymore.  I know that it roots in my lack of self-confidence, so I would buff myself up to make myself feel better.  I know it roots in that I do a lot of things, yet I forget to include God in it all the time.  I know that my pride has crept into my schoolwork, my relationships with my friends, my relationships with the opposite sex, and my position in church.  I know that in order to fight this, I’m going to have to remind myself every day of humility.  I’m going to have to fight this problem as if I’m fighting dandelions.

If you are reading this, and you have been hurt by my pride and snobbery, I am deeply sorry.  Pray for me to grow and become humble.  I have taken some steps already, but I know that I can’t do this without God and without a community of believers praying for me.

I thought this was a funny tattoo. and appropriate :)

Great is Thy Faithfulness

faithfulness, god, testimony

I had a rough day, so I need to remind myself of all of the things that God has specifically done for me as an individual to exhibit his Great Faithfulness.

God showed his grace to my sister, and she is now a passionate follower…and sometimes gives me great wisdom :)

When I prayed for an internship, he gave me one that rocked my world, changed my life, and affirmed my passion in ministry.

When I prayed for Christian fellowship while home in STL, it was granted in ways I never expected. I found new friendships and strengthened old ones.

I asked for more Christian brothers. And I now have a plethora, and that list grows seriously daily.

I begged God to send me Christian women. Through my internship, I met some wonderful women who constantly bless my life.

God sent a few people recently who revealed that I had blessed their Christian walks when I was young. Like, real young. One remembered my name from meeting me when I was 12 and contacted me.  Another was a Sunday School teacher.  God showed me how I have developed since. Amazing :)

God granted my prayer and has sent me some truth-tellers who tell me like it is. I can now reform.

God always provided when my parents couldn’t.

After my internship, I asked, “Now what?”  And God showed me what I desired most, and then gave it to me. I am a youth minister now. Still weird to say out loud.

When I was mad at God for not letting me be an RA this year, he showed me that’s not what I really wanted. I desired true discipleship, and there were much greater ways for me to do that.  Then he gave me this amazing discipleship group that I get to hang out with. And they like listening to me talk. whoa, God is crazy good :)

God gave me the most amazing rainbow of my life in the middle of a time where I was distressed.

For years and years and years I begged God to help me get rid of my depression.  I read a chapter of a book (and i don’t EVER read, unfortunately) and almost overnight I was better.

Every time I’ve ever prayed for a job, I’ve gotten one.

I’ve prayed away heartaches, headaches, hunger, and lack of heat. God always provides.

I get comments on my blogs sometimes. Always a prayer answered, that maybe something I have said resonates with someone besides myself :)

My Identity: Affirmation

christianity, identity, testimony
(PS, 50TH BLOG POST! :D)

If you knew who I was before this summer and compared it to me now, you would recognize that I am a completely different person.  Really, I have been constantly reforming my life and personality since my senior year of high school.  The difference this time is, I am truly happy and I credit that to the discovery of who I am.

Freshman year of college, I took a class called Spiritual Formations, and in that class we talked a lot about identity.  This is something that I have been constantly hearing and contemplating on—what am I putting my identity in?  I generally figured that I hadn’t been putting it in Christ.  Well, I have finally realized what I put my identity in.
I put my identity in affirmation from others.  I always have.  Affirmation, for me, comes in forms of attention, gifts, time, and more.  I find that whatever we put our identity in, we become irrational about the subject.  So if a few people couldn’t come to my birthday party because they had the flu, I would decide that they hated me and that I was a piece of crap.  If someone wouldn’t text me back, it’s because they didn’t feel I was important enough to contact.  If someone who called me their close friend didn’t invite me to every single thing they did, it was because they didn’t want to hang out with me.  For some reading this, this might sound irrational and crazy.  To others of you, this is your reality.
I’ve never felt “loved”, not by the world’s standards of love at least.  I was never the most popular or the first pick for anything.  I never felt the kind of love I felt I should get (or honestly deserved to get) from my parents, my friends, or anyone.  So I would whore myself out to get love.  I would put myself at the center of attention to feel affirmed.  Whether it was putting myself into inappropriate positions with boys, fighting hard to become the leader of an organization, or having a temper tantrum to get my parents to notice me, I tried to grant myself love and affirmation.
The thing is, I didn’t have to fight.  I knew where to find love all along.  That’s what drew me to church when I was five.  I realized that just recently.  The one place where I feel loved and affirmed is in my Lord’s arms.  The reason why I’ve been so genuinely happy lately is because my identity and purpose are both finally being fulfilled in my work through the church (that’ll probably be another blogpost, haha).  I finally feel like I mean something to the world, because the Lord is constantly affirming my calling and using people to affirm it too.
Affirmation is a wonderful thing, and I find that I am getting affirmed constantly and more so than when I was seeking it myself.  However, this kind of affirmation is different.  It’s a genuine kind of affirmation that I don’t have to ask for.  When people affirm my beauty, it’s not because I had to dress a certain way to gain it.  When people affirm my work, it’s because I’m working for the Lord and not for myself.  My identity is in the Lord, and any affirmation I gain is because of that identity.  So it really proves to me that my identity is finally in the right place.  I don’t need to whore myself to the world for affirmation.  I sold my life so that I might truly gain it.

Heather Potter

christianity, identity, testimony

I am like Harry Potter.

Stick with me here.
Harry Potter grew up in an environment where he knew he was different, not just physically. He was teased, made fun of, and his own family was terrible to him. One day somebody tells him that he is actually somebody completely different from what he was being told all along. And so he goes into this new world, trying not to be affected by his past, but also struggling to adjust to the new world. He knows that he belongs to this new world, and it really does make sense! Things are clicking together for him, and life seems to kind of fall into place. He is learning what it means to be this new identity, a wizard, while learning to use his gifts that he was literally born with.
I think you know where I am going here :)
I grew up in this world where I was told that I was worthless, different, and useless. One day I heard the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and I realized that I am not of the world that I was living in. So I pursue Christ, and mold into the world/worldview of Christianity. I struggle because I don’t understand everything and I am learning everything through experience. But I realize that it makes sense. Everything that I went through in life is consistent with the new identity that I have discovered. And I also realize that I have gifts that make everything fall into place.
No matter what you think of Harry Potter, I’m sure that you can now identify with him :)

From Depression to Repression to the Lord

depression, identity, testimony

This post is going to reveal my heart in a way that I haven’t really shared with many.

I have been struggling big-time with sharing my emotions. I thought that I was an open person, but it was pointed out to me this summer that I put up a wall. I could share testimonies about my life, give the facts and tell you everything about the story, but I couldn’t tell you how I was feeling about something. When this was brought to my attention, I automatically had a flood of emotions–part of me denied it, I was very open about my life! But I realized it was more than that; I was trying to put up a front and “be strong”, like the things I’ve gone through and struggled with couldn’t still draw emotions from me (especially “negative” emotions).

I thought I was being strong. But in hiding my emotions, I was just as weak as ever.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9)


How amazing is that?

In high school, I was the opposite. I was pretty doggone depressed. I had lost a lot of friends to it. I remember when I came to college, I was depressed and not completely relying on the Lord to be my strength and refuge. There was even a girl here at SBU who sat down with me one day and told me that she couldn’t be my friend, because I was too depressed (obviously I didn’t want her as a friend anyway! In reality, she had to learn about hardship and grow in that; I couldn’t help that she was sheltered and never hurt before!)

After that, I knew I had to be stronger, and I thought that if I was stronger for other people, it would perfect being stronger for myself. Not necessarily true. I put helping others before myself more than ever, became engrossed in ministry, forgot about myself. I thought that I was trusting and relying in God.

Yeah right!
This is what God says:

Psalm 3:3-6
But You, O LORD, are a shield about me, My glory, and the One who lifts my head. I was crying to the LORD with my voice, And He answered me from His holy mountain. Selah. I lay down and slept; I awoke, for the LORD sustains me.

Psalm 18:6-7
In my distress I called upon the LORD, And cried to my God for help; He heard my voice out of His temple, And my cry for help before Him came into His ears. Then the earth shook and quaked; And the foundations of the mountains were trembling, And were shaken, because He was angry.

Psalm 23:1-4
The LORD is my shepherd, I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me beside quiet waters. He restores my soul; He guides me in the paths of righteousness For His name’s sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

Psalm 34:4
I sought the LORD, and He answered me, And delivered me from all my fears.

Matthew 5:1-4 (Beatitudes)
When Jesus saw the crowds, He went up on the mountain; and after He sat down, His disciples came to Him.
He opened His mouth and began to teach them, saying,
“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.

Matthew 11:28-30
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”


As you can see, God never said, “Forget about your fears and worries, and I’ll make you better.” He said, “GIVE ME your fears and worries, lay them down at MY feet. Cast all your burdens on ME. And I, ONLY I will give you rest.”

So what have I learned?

It’s okay to be hurt.
When I’m hurt, I need to bring it to God.
God WANTS me to.
Only God can comfort me.
Being strong is not being shut up.
Being weak IS being strong.
Repressing feelings is not the cure for depression.

Her Beauty is Her Godliness

identity, love, testimony

Her beauty is her Godliness, and she ain’t gotta flaunt it ’cause it’s obvious!


Those are words from Lecrae’s song “Identity”. I heard these words the other day and thought about it for the first time…how perfect to describe what I’ve been feeling lately! I’ll explain :)

I never really thought of myself as beautiful, but I always knew I wasn’t ugly, even though the world told me different. I was the white girl, the fat girl, the nerdy girl, the unfashionable girl, etc etc. Everybody can relate to this on some level. We grow up watching commercials that tell us we need something more to make us look truly beautiful. Our friends talk about losing weight (or gaining it) all the time. And we feel self-conscious. I think the meanest thing ever done to me (I have never shared this before) was my senior year in high school. We were picking people for Senior Superlatives and this joker thought it would be funny to put my name down for Best Physique and told everyone to do it. Although I didn’t win, and a lot of people told him he was an idiot, I still felt horrible. Ugh. And so I went through life knowing that I don’t fit in to this world’s standards.

I wish someone would have told me sooner that my identity wasn’t in this world, but in Christ. When I got to college this Truth was slowly revealed to me. I learned more and more who Christ was, which made me love Him more and more, and then I found out that my identity was in Him. I realized how beautiful of a creature I was, how unique I was, and how much God loved me. I wasn’t entirely convinced, because I was like, “Well God feels this way about EVERYONE, so I’m not really THAT special.” But I closed my eyes and believed anyway. Thank you Psalm 139.

As I fell more in love with my Savior and my God, I fell in love with myself (not in a conceited way!). I became more confident, and more outgoing. It was easy at SBU to really be myself, because the students and faculty want that very thing from everyone.

I noticed something changing. I was told quite often that I was beautiful. At first I thought people did that to be nice, or because they tell everyone that. But I started receiving unique compliments, or people would tell me privately the growth they have seen in me, and other amazing things. I was being affirmed and encouraged constantly. But I would look in the mirror and say “Why?” There is nothing unique about me–I have a pretty large rear, that’s pretty much it, hah! And I knew that something had changed, it had to! Because it wasn’t just other Christian’s perspectives of me, it was even worldly people who told me that I was beautiful in a non-creepy non-hitting on way. Some of the most beautiful people to me are people who love Christ so much. There is something about them that you just can’t get past! (Kinda reminds me of how in high school, I’d see a guy pray or raise his hands in worship and I would think, “He’s hot!!!”) But seriously, there is this glow and ray of confidence. I can’t quite explain it, but it’s true.

So why am I beautiful? I honestly couldn’t tell you. But I see a direct correlation between the love I have for my Savior and my being beautiful. Yes! I don’t need a slamming body to be beautiful! I don’t need all the latest clothes. I don’t even need to wear makeup sometimes. My beauty is my Godliness…………………imagine when we are in Heaven…..:)

Surrendering it ALL…even my vocation.

testimony, youth ministry
I was so busy yesterday, that I forgot it was a special anniversary—three years to the day I surrendered my future vocation to the Lord. It wasn’t an easy journey to that point, I can tell you that; and the journey since has been rewarding.
My junior year of high school (11th grade), I was fully immersed in church life. I ushered, led worship team, was fully involved in the youth group, volunteered for all kinds of things, led Sunday School…you name it, I did it! I struggled a lot with trying to fit in with my friends, as all teens do. There weren’t many strong Christian influences around me (looking back at high school, I can think of 4-6 other strong followers of Christ that I graduated with out of 216?). I guess the difference was I had strong convictions should I do something “wrong.” So I didn’t do much partying or anything, just because I knew it was wrong.
Winter rolled around, and I felt the Lord trying to tell me something. I was planning colleges and my future, and was decided on a major but worried about finding a college I could afford for journalism. My youth pastor was the first to say something that really made me think. He told me that I shouldn’t go far for college, because he needed me to work with the youth and “take over” after I graduate. I laughed at the thought of “taking over” a youth group; it seemed outright ridiculous to me…but I started to think about it. I felt like the Lord was trying to tell me something, but I ignored it because I already had my life figured out (I’m a planner, as well as stubborn). One by one people in the church started coming up to me, telling me about the spectacular job I was doing working with the youth, how I was a light in the church, how I needed to continue working with teenagers and was gifted, and blah, blah, blah! Each time I would thank them and start to think about what they were saying, but then I would go rebel. I repeatedly told God, “I’m not adequate enough. Find someone else. This is too hard for me! I can’t do this! This would take too much out of me! It doesn’t pay enough for the job I’d do.” I rebelled more and more, as I got flat-out drunk and embarrassed myself in front of my friends and lost their respect. I found my worth in boys, as I became completely obsessed with one and became a complete idiot with another. There was no way I was going to surrender my life!
I remember that night I got drunk, the next morning I woke up and taught Sunday School. I got in front of the youth, and became honest for the first time. I told them the previous night’s activities. I also told them what I felt God was calling me to. They affirmed me and the calling, and I rolled my eyes and didn’t listen. I began telling a few people, laughing at the preposterousness of it (real word). As I was softened, I pushed further and further until I hit my rock bottom. I went to summer camp and just struggled, because I knew what God wanted me to do. I bawled my eyes out every night, because I didn’t want to accept it. Finally, one night I was praying to God, repenting of the last eight months of nonsense. I asked why, what was the point of this. “This is what you’re meant to be” was the response. I looked up and around, and I saw teenagers praying, youth leaders helping them, people singing, etc (typical camp scene) and I knew it. Right then and there I said, “Fine God. If this is it, fine.” And I gave up!
I cried for months afterwards. I broke things off with the guy I was seeing. I honestly changed my life. I still was reluctant, but trusted. I told God that if was going to make me do this, to find a college. Bam. I told Him that if he wanted me to go to that college, to provide a way to pay. Double Bam. And soon my bitterness towards the surrender turned to joy.
You see, God knows what He’s doing. As I look back, it only makes sense that I would work with teenagers for the rest of my life. I went through an incredible lot as a teen, and I know that its purpose was for helping others. I have a strong sense of leadership. I also have ADD and difficulties with my speech, which is a requirement for youth leaders, haha! I was preparing for ministry before I even entered it, as I collected books and such. Isn’t it funny that I was preparing for something without even realizing it? That’s the power of God.
Every time I would tell a friend that I was going into youth ministry, they would reply, “That makes sense” or “That’s perfect for you!” Thanks friends, for knowing before I did! Not everyone was supportive, especially in my family (they wish I picked something that I would get a whole lot of money out of). But honestly, it only makes sense now.
I have grown a lot since there, partly because of the college God sent me to and partly because of the ministry God sent me to. I am not the same girl I was in high school, and people know it and can tell within the first few minutes of talking to me. God has been piecing the puzzle together for me, and I am letting Him. I don’t want to make plans anymore, because I know that His is already set down for me.
For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 19:11.
hallelujah.
I’m scared sometimes, I’m going to be honest. There are a lot of criticisms for ladies in ministry, and I face it. And I also face the criticisms from my family and others. The scary thing is, I try not to worry, because I know the Father is taking care of me. He takes care of the birds, the flowers, the hippopotamuses. Who am I that He can’t take care of me?
Surrendering sucks sometimes, but man is it sweet.

Even when I am not faithful…

christianity, faithfulness, god, testimony
God is incredibly faithful. I know this sounds like a cliché thing to say, but it is so incredibly true. At camp last week, I had the opportunity of taking an extra class with some of my high school girls that I’m leading as an intern this summer at a church. The class was called Digging Deeper, and it was about digging deeper into the Word of God and how to study it. The young lady who led the class said something that stuck with me—Having a relationship with Christ is more than believing IN Him, but BELIEVING Him. Duh! Haha. But I needed this to become true in my life.
One night at camp I was talking to God as I was falling asleep. I began to thank Him for a particular person that He put in my life that has become a spiritual brother to me, who has been constantly affirming me and speaking Truth. As I was talking to God, I stopped and started to cry. I realized that He answered my prayers, in more ways than I even thought! Going into this summer, some of my biggest prayers were for women to be in my life as disciplers and mentors. There were a few women from the church who were small group leaders for the high school girls. Throughout the week they were encouraging and inspirational to me, and lifted me up constantly. I realized that the Lord answered my prayer, which really has been something I have wanted my whole life. I have never really had women in my life as spiritual advisors (I’ve had two—my old youth leader who left my life in the eighth grade and my old boss. We could also maybe count my grandma). What a blessing from the Lord! And at the end of the week, one of the women told me that she wanted to continue a relationship with me. I am entirely in awe of this. I can’t even believe that this is happening. I mean, I SHOULD believe it, because I KNOW from experience and Scripture that MY GOD can do ANYTHING!
I could use prayer in one area—I need to be more confident in my knowledge. I am incredibly intelligent and have a lot of potential, but I am not exercising that. I am dumbing myself down and constantly telling myself how unfit I am as a teacher and discipler. I know that the Lord has incredibly equipped me for the jobs He has me doing. I trust in that. But I need confidence in it. I am a great teacher. I know how to relate to students. I love to study. I have lots of knowledge and even wisdom (I am not trying to boast in this, I have only obtained this through the Lord’s equipping of me and seeking after Him for it). It’s time for me to be confident in it. I am NOT a ditz. I think critically and philosophically, time to show it! I know this seems like an odd request, but I could use some prayer warriors for this :).

Dear April, be better than March. Love, Heather.

testimony

I have had the hardest month in a long time… here’s a list:
  1. huge fight with my mom

  2. my facebook page for my business was deleted
  3. someone very close to me attempted suicide, and others close to me were very much effected by it
  4. my grandfather’s kidneys are failing
  5. fight with my mentor
  6. a woman moved in with my father
  7. my sister’s behavior is out of control :(
  8. (that was all just the first week, although it escalated, as those type of things tend to do.)
  9. I had job problems which caused me to quit
  10. I was stood up big-time by my best friend
  11. trying to find a summer internship
  12. trying to apply for RA throughout all this, something that I desired with all of my heart, something that the Lord told me I was fully equipped for; then I didn’t get it in the end…
  13. a lot of emotional issues, dealing with lies of this world from Satan
  14. my uncle cannot stand me and thus makes my life miserable while I am home


If you follow me on twitter, here is the progression of some of my tweets:
  • Every tear i cry, You hold in Your hand. You’ve never left my side. & tho my heart is torn, I’ll praise You in this storm.

  • I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
  • “We know the truth, not only through our reason, but also through our heart.” -Blaise Pascal
  • Faith isn’t a question of shutting 1’s eyes, gritting 1’s teeth, & believing the impossible. It involves a leap, but a leap into the light.
  • As I have gotten older, I have realized that I don’t have best friends anymore; rather, friends for different areas of my life.
  • Misery may love company, but the lack of company causes misery.
  • Justice is getting what you deserve. Mercy is not getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.


Lets be honest, I had a crap month. Yesterday I had a meeting with a professor to discuss my spiritual development this semester (it is a requirement for class). He has read my journal entries over the last month, and has seen how much I have gone through as I have gone through it. He has hurt with me. I told him that even though I thought I dealt with everything well by not breaking down completely like I would have years ago, I slacked off in a lot of areas in my life and relationship with God. He told me that although I haven’t done my quiet time, my relationship with God had visibly grown. Although I had so much going on in the relational area of my life, I was able to build up a relationship with a young lady who I disciple. Although I had all of this junk going on in my life, I stuck through it. Although I have cried more this month than in the past few years, I haven’t had an emotional breakdown. I have matured. It’s weird to think that, but I did. I kept begging God to break me further, break me further. I wanted the brokenness so that I could feel close to Him again. I want my relationship with Him to be fresh and tight. I wanted Him to show me that I needed Him more than anything. And He has shown me that. Although I lacked in the “religious” aspect of our relationship, He is still my Lord. I let Him lead me. I cried a bunch, but I let Him do whatever was in His plan without me interfering. Life isn’t perfect, I never had perfection, nor do I want to ever obtain it. Because the second everything goes right in my life, I could forget Him! (although God, if You are reading this, and I know You are, I wouldn’t mind a thing or two that I desire to be in Your will, You almost owe it to me for this last month! How about I get that internship! That would make up for March J). Anywho, I am still processing a lot of this; in fact, I have been writing this post for a few days now. My point is, that even when everything in your life is hectic and going wrongly, God is right there with you.
Remember Job? EVERYTHING was taken away from him; everything went wrong for him. But what did he do?
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped.
He said,
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD.”
Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.
((Job 1:20-22))
Job mourned, fell flat on his face, and gave it all to God. He worshipped Him. He said, “The Lord took all of this away, but He gave it to me in the first place. Praise God that He gave it to me in the first place! Praise God that He is over my life—He knows best; He knows what He is doing!”
My attitude may not have been exactly like his, but it was pretty similar. The whole time I had faith in that God knows exactly what He is doing. He gave me more and more to show me that I could bear it all and still have faith in Him. Satan was active in attacking me mentally, and God laughed because He knew that Satan could not control me. God showed Satan big time that I am NOT the same girl that I used to be! I can handle ANY attack Satan makes. Because I know that God is sovereign and ACTIVE in my life! The Lord has given me SO much, and it is His to take away if He so desires. Man, this is good stuff.
“I wish you could see me now, I wish I could show you how I’m not who I was!” Brandon Heath.
“But faith is not a question of shutting one’s eyes, gritting one’s teeth, and believing the impossible. It involves a leap, but a leap into the light rather than the dark. It is open to the possibility of correction, as God’s ways and will become more clearly known.” –John Polkinghorne

MIRACLES–they aren’t dead!

christianity, testimony

The past week I have learned that God is still capable of miracles. I know you’re reading this and saying to yourself, “Duh, He’s GOD.” But do you really believe that in our society today He still does miracles?


Yesterday in church, the pastor preached out of Acts. He read about how when Paul was in Ephesus, God empowered him to do miracles–cast out demons and evil spirits. His rags were taken and, with the faith of those using them, they were rubbed on their bodies in order to cure their bodies. Even though God was physically not there, and neither was Christ, God empowered them through the name of His Son to still make miracles. So if you’re one of those people who think that when Jesus died on the cross, miracles didn’t happen afterwards, you are obviously wrong.

My pastor told us a story about how when he was abroad in another country, there was a person who had AIDS. His team prayed for this person, who was completely skinny, sick, and the doctors said that there was no chance of healing. They were healed the next day. They, overnight, had meat on their body, was walking, and was healed! A miracle.

At Filipino Church this man gave his testimony about how he was lost, so lost in who he was and fighting God. One day we was in his golf cart and was going through a tunnel/mine thingy when the whole cave thingy collapsed on him! Yet, a bubble of air formed as it raised back up a little. His body was pretty much crushed, but the air provided him relief so that he could be rescued. There were a lot of consequences from the accident–he acquired this disease where his legs were badly inflamed, all of the time (as well as back problems). The doctors said that he would never be able to get out of the wheelchair. He drove himself absolutely mad–he started thinking about chopping off his legs and getting prosthetic ones. He started practicing, and got all the things ready–the chair, the belts for his legs, the telephone with the button for 911, and a chainsaw. He went to pull it, and….nothing. He pulled it and pulled it and pulled it again, but nothing happened. He grew angry, sooo angry at God. He yelled at God when suddenly, there was this rush in his legs–he could feel the blood flowing through the rest of it. The burning was gone. He stood up and put one leg forward, in complete disbelief. He put another leg forward, ridiculous! And he walked. At that moment, he dedicated his life to God. God gave him two miracles, and softened his heart so that he would come to Him.

Who says miracles don’t happen? I thought they were dead. I quit believing a looooooong time ago that the relationship between my parents and I would change (especially my mom). My parents went through a very messy divorce that resulted in them basically abandoning me emotionally and I would even say physically. A week ago, my mother and I got into a huge fight when I made this fact known to her. I was sick of feeling unloved, because I hadn’t gotten anything from her in the two years I have been away at college–no letters, phone calls, money; nothing that said, “Hey I’m thinking about you” or “I’m proud of you.” It seemed more like she abandoned me then my father. The Lord, after many years of me not being able to get through to her, softened her heart and made her see my view on things (if only a little). Since last Wednesday, she has bought a cell phone plan and has called me every day, bought a new computer and internet to start corresponding with me that way, and has sent me two letters, as well as giving me a nice sum of money for college. She is texting me, sending me messages, etc. It’s so weird, because for the first time in my life, my mother is putting herself out there to build a relationship with me. We are forgetting the past and moving forward with a new relationship. It’s so weird!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I know that it’s only a miracle from God.

I know that if you read this testimony, it may not seem like such a big deal compared to the others. My point is, God works miracles, they just look different. So if you’re like me and forgot that miracles exist, please forget that. God is mysterious, and it is what makes Him so beautiful ♥