Author: Heather Lea Campbell

Soulforce

Uncategorized

I am still gathering my thoughts for the most part. But I want to formally thank all of the people who have gone out of their way to affirm me. The Lord is doing a big work in my life, and I am glad to see that others see that (and don’t think i’m a big radical liberal lunatic).


In a few weeks, I will put my thoughts about Soulforce. Currently I just want to ponder and pray.

♥Heather :)

Faith VS Apathy

bible, christianity, faith

I struggle a lot with apathy…or at least I thought it was apathy. I didn’t understand why so much was going on in my life, but I didn’t seem really effected by it. My heart hurt, but I wasn’t reacting the way that I used to, the way I thought I should. I was getting lazy towards the amount of time I spent with God, lazy getting into His Word. I thought I was a horrible Christian. When I asked God to break me, I was hoping that it would be a way for Him to break me out of my apathy. But, as you read in my last post, Him breaking me realized how much trust I had in Him! Which made me think, was I apathetic, or just completely trusting that He had my back? Was my apathy not apathy, but faith?


Hebrews says that faith is being sure of what we hope for, and certain of the things we do not see. Apathy can be defined as an absence of emotion or enthusiasm. They don’t really sound the same there. Faith is hopeful and very emotional, while Apathy is the feeling (or non-feeling) of uncertainty and carelessness.

Matthew 6:25-30:

25“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?
28“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

This shows us that faith is when you trust in the Lord so much, that you don’t worry and don’t care about what is going on around you. It can be mistaken for apathy in that you aren’t overly emotional about your heartaches. You aren’t over-dramatizing things. You aren’t constantly thinking about hardships. Faith is when you give it up to God and believe that He can take care of you when you can’t see the end results of hurts and struggles…knowing that He is sovereign and understanding over your situation. Fully trusting in Him. Is that hard? Heck yes. Is it apathy? Heck no. Not worrying about something is not automatically apathy. I understand that now.
Apathy is not caring, but Faith is letting God take care.

Dear April, be better than March. Love, Heather.

testimony

I have had the hardest month in a long time… here’s a list:
  1. huge fight with my mom

  2. my facebook page for my business was deleted
  3. someone very close to me attempted suicide, and others close to me were very much effected by it
  4. my grandfather’s kidneys are failing
  5. fight with my mentor
  6. a woman moved in with my father
  7. my sister’s behavior is out of control :(
  8. (that was all just the first week, although it escalated, as those type of things tend to do.)
  9. I had job problems which caused me to quit
  10. I was stood up big-time by my best friend
  11. trying to find a summer internship
  12. trying to apply for RA throughout all this, something that I desired with all of my heart, something that the Lord told me I was fully equipped for; then I didn’t get it in the end…
  13. a lot of emotional issues, dealing with lies of this world from Satan
  14. my uncle cannot stand me and thus makes my life miserable while I am home


If you follow me on twitter, here is the progression of some of my tweets:
  • Every tear i cry, You hold in Your hand. You’ve never left my side. & tho my heart is torn, I’ll praise You in this storm.

  • I know God will not give me anything I can’t handle. I just wish that He didn’t trust me so much. ~Mother Teresa
  • “We know the truth, not only through our reason, but also through our heart.” -Blaise Pascal
  • Faith isn’t a question of shutting 1’s eyes, gritting 1’s teeth, & believing the impossible. It involves a leap, but a leap into the light.
  • As I have gotten older, I have realized that I don’t have best friends anymore; rather, friends for different areas of my life.
  • Misery may love company, but the lack of company causes misery.
  • Justice is getting what you deserve. Mercy is not getting what you deserve. Grace is getting what you don’t deserve.


Lets be honest, I had a crap month. Yesterday I had a meeting with a professor to discuss my spiritual development this semester (it is a requirement for class). He has read my journal entries over the last month, and has seen how much I have gone through as I have gone through it. He has hurt with me. I told him that even though I thought I dealt with everything well by not breaking down completely like I would have years ago, I slacked off in a lot of areas in my life and relationship with God. He told me that although I haven’t done my quiet time, my relationship with God had visibly grown. Although I had so much going on in the relational area of my life, I was able to build up a relationship with a young lady who I disciple. Although I had all of this junk going on in my life, I stuck through it. Although I have cried more this month than in the past few years, I haven’t had an emotional breakdown. I have matured. It’s weird to think that, but I did. I kept begging God to break me further, break me further. I wanted the brokenness so that I could feel close to Him again. I want my relationship with Him to be fresh and tight. I wanted Him to show me that I needed Him more than anything. And He has shown me that. Although I lacked in the “religious” aspect of our relationship, He is still my Lord. I let Him lead me. I cried a bunch, but I let Him do whatever was in His plan without me interfering. Life isn’t perfect, I never had perfection, nor do I want to ever obtain it. Because the second everything goes right in my life, I could forget Him! (although God, if You are reading this, and I know You are, I wouldn’t mind a thing or two that I desire to be in Your will, You almost owe it to me for this last month! How about I get that internship! That would make up for March J). Anywho, I am still processing a lot of this; in fact, I have been writing this post for a few days now. My point is, that even when everything in your life is hectic and going wrongly, God is right there with you.
Remember Job? EVERYTHING was taken away from him; everything went wrong for him. But what did he do?
Then Job arose and tore his robe and shaved his head, and he fell to the ground and worshiped.
He said,
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
And naked I shall return there
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away.
Blessed be the name of the LORD.”
Through all this Job did not sin nor did he blame God.
((Job 1:20-22))
Job mourned, fell flat on his face, and gave it all to God. He worshipped Him. He said, “The Lord took all of this away, but He gave it to me in the first place. Praise God that He gave it to me in the first place! Praise God that He is over my life—He knows best; He knows what He is doing!”
My attitude may not have been exactly like his, but it was pretty similar. The whole time I had faith in that God knows exactly what He is doing. He gave me more and more to show me that I could bear it all and still have faith in Him. Satan was active in attacking me mentally, and God laughed because He knew that Satan could not control me. God showed Satan big time that I am NOT the same girl that I used to be! I can handle ANY attack Satan makes. Because I know that God is sovereign and ACTIVE in my life! The Lord has given me SO much, and it is His to take away if He so desires. Man, this is good stuff.
“I wish you could see me now, I wish I could show you how I’m not who I was!” Brandon Heath.
“But faith is not a question of shutting one’s eyes, gritting one’s teeth, and believing the impossible. It involves a leap, but a leap into the light rather than the dark. It is open to the possibility of correction, as God’s ways and will become more clearly known.” –John Polkinghorne

MIRACLES–they aren’t dead!

christianity, testimony

The past week I have learned that God is still capable of miracles. I know you’re reading this and saying to yourself, “Duh, He’s GOD.” But do you really believe that in our society today He still does miracles?


Yesterday in church, the pastor preached out of Acts. He read about how when Paul was in Ephesus, God empowered him to do miracles–cast out demons and evil spirits. His rags were taken and, with the faith of those using them, they were rubbed on their bodies in order to cure their bodies. Even though God was physically not there, and neither was Christ, God empowered them through the name of His Son to still make miracles. So if you’re one of those people who think that when Jesus died on the cross, miracles didn’t happen afterwards, you are obviously wrong.

My pastor told us a story about how when he was abroad in another country, there was a person who had AIDS. His team prayed for this person, who was completely skinny, sick, and the doctors said that there was no chance of healing. They were healed the next day. They, overnight, had meat on their body, was walking, and was healed! A miracle.

At Filipino Church this man gave his testimony about how he was lost, so lost in who he was and fighting God. One day we was in his golf cart and was going through a tunnel/mine thingy when the whole cave thingy collapsed on him! Yet, a bubble of air formed as it raised back up a little. His body was pretty much crushed, but the air provided him relief so that he could be rescued. There were a lot of consequences from the accident–he acquired this disease where his legs were badly inflamed, all of the time (as well as back problems). The doctors said that he would never be able to get out of the wheelchair. He drove himself absolutely mad–he started thinking about chopping off his legs and getting prosthetic ones. He started practicing, and got all the things ready–the chair, the belts for his legs, the telephone with the button for 911, and a chainsaw. He went to pull it, and….nothing. He pulled it and pulled it and pulled it again, but nothing happened. He grew angry, sooo angry at God. He yelled at God when suddenly, there was this rush in his legs–he could feel the blood flowing through the rest of it. The burning was gone. He stood up and put one leg forward, in complete disbelief. He put another leg forward, ridiculous! And he walked. At that moment, he dedicated his life to God. God gave him two miracles, and softened his heart so that he would come to Him.

Who says miracles don’t happen? I thought they were dead. I quit believing a looooooong time ago that the relationship between my parents and I would change (especially my mom). My parents went through a very messy divorce that resulted in them basically abandoning me emotionally and I would even say physically. A week ago, my mother and I got into a huge fight when I made this fact known to her. I was sick of feeling unloved, because I hadn’t gotten anything from her in the two years I have been away at college–no letters, phone calls, money; nothing that said, “Hey I’m thinking about you” or “I’m proud of you.” It seemed more like she abandoned me then my father. The Lord, after many years of me not being able to get through to her, softened her heart and made her see my view on things (if only a little). Since last Wednesday, she has bought a cell phone plan and has called me every day, bought a new computer and internet to start corresponding with me that way, and has sent me two letters, as well as giving me a nice sum of money for college. She is texting me, sending me messages, etc. It’s so weird, because for the first time in my life, my mother is putting herself out there to build a relationship with me. We are forgetting the past and moving forward with a new relationship. It’s so weird!!!!!!!!!!!!! But I know that it’s only a miracle from God.

I know that if you read this testimony, it may not seem like such a big deal compared to the others. My point is, God works miracles, they just look different. So if you’re like me and forgot that miracles exist, please forget that. God is mysterious, and it is what makes Him so beautiful ♥

Forgiveness…

Uncategorized

So, I’m sitting here with a pint of turtle icecream, contemplating this week, themed “Forgiveness” at chapel. There have been a lot of instances in my life that I have had to deal with forgiveness, as with everybody. In the past, I have been extremely forgiving, or have had no grace at all.


On Monday, I contemplated the words “forgiveness” and “grace”. When are we forgiven? When are we given grace? Are they the same? Is all forgiveness grace, and all grace forgiveness? Grace goes to people who don’t deserve it. Does all forgiveness go to people who don’t deserve forgiveness? Can you “earn” forgiveness?


God offers forgiveness and grace to everybody, but they can only be forgiven if they repent, right? Is that the same with humans?

Do we have to tell someone we forgive them?

From the bottom of my broken heart (yes that’s Britney Spears)

Uncategorized

I haven’t blogged in a few weeks… and I’ve been pretty busy, but not busy enough to put off as many things that I have. I’m dealing with quite a few things spiritually and such. I have quite a few different journals for classes, and it’s stressing me out thinking about how much I am going to have to write about my spiritual life the next few months. For one class I have to write out my spiritual plan for the semester–how I plan to develop over the semester and such. My plan is to deal with the spiritual warfare inside of me. I have been fighting the devil in many parts of my life, and although my relationship with God is good, I’m still struggling. It’s kinda like we’ve been married for so long, that our relationship has lost its luster. I want to be passionate again about my relationship with Him. So over the next few weeks, I will make sure to post what I’m doing and what not on here :)


Here’s my rant of the…life. haha. Over the past year I have been dealing with a particular friendship. The friendship has caused me a lot of heartache. I have tried to mend it on more than one occasion, and the person has not tried at all. She claims that she has, but I even called her and told her I want to talk to her, and she just texted me. I waited a few months to give her time to get her act together, and guess what? No call. So today I have decided… I am moving on in my life. I gave her a chance, many chances. I feel like I’m throwing away 7 years of friendship, but you know what? If in 7 years, I’m still treated the same way I was treated in the beginning, what have I lost? What have I gained? What is different? I guess what I am saying is, i am doneeeeee. and honestly, it sucks and I’m sad. But it’s time for me to move on and quit trippin off these haters. haha

Anyway, I don’t really know what to say now… I guess I’m going to share a passage that I have read, taught, etc for many many years but just recently fell in love again with.

Ephesians 6:10-18: The Armor of God

10Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. 12For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. 13Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. 14Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, 15and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. 16In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. 17Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints.


Yep.

♥
Heather

From Daddy

god

I know I haven’t written in a while… I am keeping three seperate journals for two classes…and I haven’t really had time to blog. A friend tagged me in a note on facebook today with something that I needed…a letter from Daddy.

My Dear Child,
You may not know [and understand everything about] me, but I know everything about you (Psalm 139:1). I know when you sit down and when you rise up (Psalm 139:2). Even the very hairs on your head are numbered (Matt 10:29-31). For you were made in MY IMAGE (Genesis 1:27). In me you live and move and have your being (Acts 17:28). For you are my offspring (Acts 17:28). I knew you even before you were conceived (Jeremiah 1:4-5). I chose you when I planned creation (Ephesians 1:11-12). You were not a mistake for all your days are written in my book (Psalm 139:15-16). I determined the exact time of your birth and where you would live (Acts 17:26). You are FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made (Psalm 139:14). I knit you together in your mother’s womb (Psalm 139:13). And brought you forth on the day you were born (Psalm 71:6). I have been misrepresented by those who don’t know me (1 John 4:16). And it is my desire to LAVISH my love on you.(1 John 3:1). Simply because you are my child and I am your Father (1 John 3:1). I offer you more than an earthly father ever could (Matt 7:11). For I am the PERFECT Father (Matt 5:48). Every good gift that you receive come from my hand (James 1:17). For I am your provider and I meet all your needs (Matthew 6:31-33). My plan for your future has always been filled with Hope (Jeremiah 29:11). Because I LOVE YOU with and everlasting love (Jeremiah 31:3). My thoughts toward you are countless as the sand on the seashore (Psalm 139:17-18). And I rejoice over you with singing!!! (Zephaniah 3:17). I will NEVER stop doing good to you (Jeremiah 32:40). For you are my treasure possesion(Exodus 19:5). I desire to esablish you with all my heart and all my soul (Jeremiah 32:41). And I want to show you great and marvelous things (Jeremiah 33:3). If you seek me with all your heart, you will find me (Deuteronomy 4:29). Delight in me and I will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4). For it is I who gave those desires (Philliipians 3:13). I am able to do more for you than you could possibly imagine (Ephesians 3:20). For I am your greatest encourager (2 Thess 2:16-17). I am also the Father who comforts you with all your troubles (2 Corinthians 1:3-4). When you are brokenhearted, I AM CLOSE TO YOU (Psalm 34:18). As a shepherd carries a lamb, I have carried you close to my heart (Isaiah 40:11). One day I will wipe away every tear from your eyes (Revelations 21:3-4) And I’ll take away all pain you have suffered on this earth (Revelation 21:3-4). I am your Father and I love you, even as I love my son, Jesus (John 17:23). For in Jesus my love for you is revealed (John 17:26). He is the exact representation of my being (Hebrews 1:3). He came to demonstrate that I am for you, not against you (Romans 8:31). And to tell you that I am not countint your sins (2 Cor 5:18-19). His death was the ultimate expression of my love for you (1 John 4:10). I GAVE UP EVERYTHING I LOVE THAT I MIGHT HAVE YOUR LOVE (Romans 8-31-32). If you receive the gift of my son Jesus, you receive me (1 John 2:23). And nothing will ever separate you from my love again (Romans 8:38-39). Come home and I will throw the biggest party heaven has ever seen (Luke 15:7). I have always been Father, and will always be Father (Ephesians 3:14-15). My question is… will you be my child (John 1:12-13)? I am waiting for you (Luke 15:11-32).
Love,
Your Dad the Almighty God.


♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

:)

love

There is no such thing as conditional love. Love is either unconditional or it’s no love. You might like someone conditional on their personality or behavior or circumstances. But love accepts no boundaries. So never say ‘I love you because’, for love has no cause, love comes from God.

I got this this morning on an application from facebook :)