Hey everybody! I haven’t posted in over a month, which is odd for me but has been the trend for a few months now…I’m going to say that I’m going to get better, but that is probably false. I took some time today to write a few posts that have been on my internal to-do list and in my journal for a while now, and they will get posted daily this week.
In my quest in trying to figure out a few things about what I’m supposed to be doing with my life when I graduate, only a few things were made clear to me: God isn’t going to divinely reveal it in a way that is clear-cut and obvious. There is a journey involved that I must go through. That being said, I tried many approaches to this journey. The angle that I went at it was trying to figure out, “What do I desire the most?”
I tried the location thing—I desire a large city. I’m not cut out for the country any more that I have tried the last four years. I have desired to move to Chicago since my freshman year of high school. My family is in St. Louis…and many other factors. I also thought about what I wanted my role in youth ministry to look like—do I want to work in a church, in a non for-profit, etc. Do I want to be full-time, part-time, etc? I like working at treatment facilities; do I want to continue that? Do I continue education and pursue seminary?
Many of my answers to those questions not only varied, but honestly didn’t matter that much to me. None of those things were things that I necessarily desired for my life; they were things that, if they happened, I’d be able to glorify God no matter what. None of those things were desires that were set apart or defined something special for me.
With the things going on in my family, I realized that the one thing I desire right now is for my sister to grow in the Lord and be rescued from her current situation (more on that tomorrow). She is the defining desire that I have right now, and if I were to go back to St. Louis I would be able to do any of the things I previously listed and still be with her.
So that’s the plan. St. Louis. That’s all I got! I’ve been applying around a bit where I can find something. I’m in a new part of my journey that is involving reevaluation of my denominational heritage and decision to continue in that (women aren’t accepted in a majority of our churches as teachers). I’m open-minded and knowing that the next 69 days are going to be crazy and essential in order to grow further :).