This is Weird.

So this is weird.  I’m thinking about how we are all going to grow up one day.  I feel like just yesterday I was in high school, not understanding who I am and struggling to fit in.  And here I am, in college, with a slightly better understanding of who I am and people who are constantly affirming that.  It’s crazy.  And tomorrow, I’m going to be an adult.  Well not really tomorrow, but when I get to that point, I am going to wonder where the time went.  I wonder what it’s going to be like when we are 80 years old. Weird. So. Stinking. Weird.

As I looked online for curriculum, and pa-rouse youth ministry sites, I realized something.  One day, my colleagues are going to be the people writing this curriculum and making these sites.  My friends are going to be the ones speaking at huge conferences and camps like Centrifuge and Crossings.  I may even know the next Lecrae (and hopefully marry him!)  They are going to be writing books that I turn to when I want to pull my hair out, and making the curriculum that I will use with my youth group.  What is weirder, I might be one of them!  Whoaaa!  Thinking about this has made the reality that “One Day, I’m Going to Be an Adult” almost more real.  Should I start writing my book?  Should I start getting the curriculum I just wrote for our WarZone published?  hahahaha.  Oh my.  Tis Strange.

On another still-weird-but-less-frazzled note, while I’m thinking of youth ministry majors, I’m quite disappointed with some of ours right now.  I’m beginning to realize more and more that people go into ministry to correct their own lives.  It is so incredibly sad!  This mentality is very common in my peers, that “I had a messed up youth.  So I’m going to go to college, major in youth ministry, and I will become reformed and help those in their youth to make up for my sin in mine.”  And honestly, I’m sure that I felt that at one time or another, that the program would help reform me.  Why shouldn’t it reform me?  But there needs to be a legitimate, specific calling to the ministry.  I don’t want to see more teenagers suffer because their youth minister committed a major sin and had to leave the church.  And that goes for me too.

I’m incredibly scatter-brained today.  God answered a huge prayer last night, but I still am not happy.  I don’t really understand it.  But I need to learn to rest in His grace and armor myself with His Strength.  I can’t fight whatever funk I’m feeling alone! oh no no nooooo…

2 thoughts on “This is Weird.

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  1. haha I am a junior in college, so it has been a few years :)

    I actually got the call to work with teenagers while i was still IN high school. Long story short: I was a junior in high school when a person in my church approached me and told me that they thought I should take over the youth group when i graduate. i laughed it off, but there was something unsettling about what they said. people kept approaching me, affirming my work in the church and saying the same thing that one person said–that I should work with teenagers when I graduate. I knew that God wanted me to do this, but i had already made plans for my life! So I began fighting the call. My life spiraled downward as i struggled with partying and boys and just a lot of stuff that wasn't glorifying God. I would tell my best friend about it, and she agreed with God and not me, which ticked me off :)
    Finally at summer camp, I was praying and asking God for forgiveness for all the things I had done in that 5-6 month period. I was asking Him what I needed to do, why I was going through the things that I was going through. Then I heard it, “This is what you're meant to be.” I looked up and around, and saw teens sobbing everywhere. My heart was broken. I knew that this is what I was meant to do.
    God has really shown me since that He has really equipped me for this job, but at the same time has humbled me and shown me that I can NOT do this without Him.
    If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask :) I ran away from this calling for so stinking long, and am excited about what the Lord has been doing in my life since!

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