Navigating Faith and Sexuality: A New Curriculum

lessons, Ministry, youth ministry

I grew up in purity culture. I wore the ring. I signed the commitment card. I was handed a box that supposedly represented my virginity and was told not to open it until I got married. Believe it or not, I still have all of it tucked away somewhere—relics of a theology that taught me rules, but not reflection.

Then I started working in mainline churches. And I realized something: progressives don’t talk about sex in church. Or so I thought. Working in progressive church spaces is funny; I’d have one parent say, “Don’t you dare tell my kid that sex is a sin,” and another say, “Can you please tell my teen to stop having sex?” I couldn’t win. And honestly? Neither could our students.

So my assistant director and I decided to do something about it. We created a four-week curriculum on faith and sexuality—one that speaks honestly, affirms LGBTQIA+ identities, and offers students something better than silence or shame. We rooted the series in the Wesleyan Quadrilateral, a framework that invites students to consider Scripture, Tradition, Reason, and Experience when wrestling with life’s big questions—especially when the Bible isn’t crystal clear.

Does God care about our sexual lives? Yes. Because God cares about our whole lives. But what God says about sex isn’t always as black-and-white as we were told growing up. That’s why this curriculum doesn’t aim to give every student the same answer—but to equip them with tools to form their own faithful, thoughtful, Spirit-led convictions. Spoiler alert: those convictions might look different for each student. And honestly? That’s the hope.

After we shared this series with our own students, it was picked up by Reconciling Ministries Network—an affirming branch of the United Methodist Church—and is now being shared with churches across the country. Our prayer is that this becomes a flexible resource for your ministry too. Feel free to adapt, edit, and shape it to meet your context.

Just—whatever you do—don’t stay silent. Our teens are listening. Let’s make sure they hear something worth holding on to.

Series Overview

Week 1: Developing a Faithful & Healthy Sexual Ethic

Bottom Line: We should view sex through a Christian worldview.
This week introduces the Wesleyan Quadrilateral—Scripture, Tradition, Reason, and Experience—as a framework for building a personal sexual ethic. Instead of issuing rules, it invites students to wrestle with how their faith informs decision-making. The big message? Your faith can and should shape your view of sex, but it’s not about fear or shame—it’s about trust, wisdom, and grace.


Week 2: Called to a Higher Standard

Bottom Line: As Christians, we are called to a higher standard. However, we are not to shame others for their decisions.
In this session, we explore how following Jesus means choosing what’s beneficial, not just what’s acceptable. We talk about being intentional in our relationships, valuing people over objectifying them, and embracing grace instead of shame—both for ourselves and others.


Week 3: Valuing Others vs. Objectifying Others

Bottom Line: As Christians, we are called to value others, not objectify them.
This week dives deeper into two key areas: lust and pornography, and consent. It challenges students to think critically about how culture influences their views on sex, and affirms that healthy desire isn’t wrong—but using others for gratification is. We also unpack the dangers of porn, the importance of consent, and why we’re called to treat others with dignity and respect in every interaction.


Week 4: Pastor Panel Q&A

Bottom Line: Pastors answer your questions about faith and sex.
This week is dedicated to your students’ real questions—everything from “Is masturbation a sin?” to “What if I’ve experienced sexual abuse?” to “What does the Bible say about being queer and sexual?” A panel of pastors responds with love, honesty, and theology rooted in grace. This week models what it looks like to have vulnerable, faithful conversations about complicated topics—without fear and without shame.

Download Here:

This is Love.

Blogs about Heather, love, testimony

I found this on Facebook the other day and was thinking… NAILED IT!

Just in case you can’t read that…

What is Love? By Emma K. Age 6.

Love is when you’re missing some of your teeth

but you’re not afraid to smile

because you know your friends will still love you even though some of you is missing. <3

I have thought about this quite a bit lately, actually.  I’ve been thinking about my own journey to the Lord, and how I consistently tried to prove to him how “unworthy” I was, especially for ministry.  No matter what sin I committed to make him “not love me” anymore, he showed me so much grace that I knew he would love me, flaws and all. Read Monday’s post if you want more on that ;)

I also thought about how blessed I am to have friends who mutually love each other, without conditions. It doesn’t matter the miles between us, the time that passes, or the sass that is bound to happen… we love each other, flaws and all. Even when parts of us are hurt (even by each other at times) we’ve learned to love regardless.

Gahhh. Fantastic.

And of course: I’m blown away she knows the difference between “you’re” and “your” at the age of 6. Take some lessons, friends. ;)

Truth Seekers

media, music

Okay, so maybe I’m overreacting… but today I was looking in the top albums on Google Play Music, and I noticed a trend in album titles.  I then went to iTunes and got a better list:

  • Magna Carta…Holy Grail by JAY Z
  • Don’t Look Down by Skylar Gray
  • Yeezus by Kanye West
  • Born Sinner by J. Cole
  • The Gifted by Wale

That’s just in the top 6. Thank you Ciara for the self-titled album to mix things up. Oh, wait, you’re explicit.

Other Top Album titles that are popular include religious references as well (my favorite title is (The Devil put Dinosaurs Here by Alice in Chains…made me chuckle), and that’s before you even click on the song lists of those albums.

I’m not going to go on a rant about “devil music” or “post-post-post-modernism” and “false prophets.” I think that many people are more gifted than I in spreading those messages when appropriate. I also don’t think it’s a “new thing” that secular music uses some religious themes in its music.

I’m just going to say one simple thing: The world is watching Christianity and religion in general.  They have something to say, too.  And they are also watching our responses.

One more thing: seek out truth for yourself in scripture.

Last week we encouraged our high school girls small group, when reading chapter 5 of Crazy Love, to go into the Gospels, drop our predispositions, and read about Jesus for ourselves.  The group will discuss what we discover, and frankly, I’m pumped.

Don’t listen to popular media or even what your church/pastor “pass down” to you. Seek it out using only red letters.

You remind me of God.

christianity, church, discipleship, friendship, god, identity, love, Relationships

When is the last time you looked at someone you despise (because, let’s admit it: you don’t like everyoneand was able to pick out characteristics in them that remind you of God?

I was asked this about some people in my life who hurt me, and I really struggled: It’s easy to find things about a person we don’t like, but what about things we like about them?  Better yet, what are some things in them that remind me of God?

Being able to say, “I see God in you” has impacted my relationships with those I struggle with.  I’m now able to say to them: “You are very creative. It reminds me of God.” “You are outgoing. It reminds me of God’s boldness.” “The way you love people reminds me of God.” It has radically impacted relationships…and even if they don’t appreciate the comment, it helps my heart to focus on these things.

Let’s expand here and think outside our “enemies.”  When is the last time you encouraged a friend, telling them you see the Lord in them?  For me, almost never. When a friend told me how I remind her of God, it only confirmed what I was learning: It changes people when they hear how they relate to the Creator of the universe.

So here is your homework for this week: Focus on a few people in your life–at least one friend and one not-so-much–and tell them what you see in them that reminds you of God. What message is more powerful than that?

God is Able

christ, faith, faithfulness, god, identity, jesus, prayer, theology

Saturday I had the blessing of spending a few hours with my teenager sister while she copped my WiFi.  We watched a Mythbusters episode together, where they proved it is scientifically impossible to be buried alive and escape.

This was comforting.

Why? Because that means no Zombie apocalypse. Unless it’s Walking Dead style.

Why else? Because it exemplifies what Christ did.

Now, I know that his grave is way different from our graves…I get that.  But for a while (and don’t cry “heretic” out to me) I forgot how magnificent it is that Christ rose from the dead.

Not only that he rose from the dead, but that he rose others from the dead.  He healed the sick, the  handicapped, and the diseased. He gave hope to the hopeless and changed ridiculously lost people into the examples by which we lead our Christian walks by.

Wow.

For a while…and I hate to admit it…I forgot two central truths:

God can do anything.

God can save anyone.

For a while, I wasn’t sure of this; at least, I wouldn’t have admitted it out loud. In fact, I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t sure of this.  It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized that I wasn’t operating my life based off of these truths.  And when you’re not walking, you stop talking.

You see, these truths radically change the way that you live.  It means that nobody is too far of a reach to pray for.  It means that you don’t just complain about people, but pray for a change of heart in them.  And speaking of prayer, it radically changes your prayer life.  Prayer isn’t just a time of asking, but a time of believing that it can actually be done.

 

At one time, these truths provided me hope and comfort…..and I want to cling to them again.  Because, if God can move mountains, then God can save my family from drug addiction.  And if Christ can raise from the grave (which I watched on Mythbusters yesterday is scientifically impossible) then Christ can raise up my teenagers from their sin. If God can lead adulterers and bigots and prostitutes and cheaters and hypocrites to him and use them as leaders, why could God not lead certain people in my life to salvation?

God can do it.

I know he can.

And as soon as I realized this in the least bit, I saw it happen in a huge way. I really did.  God is working in the lives of the people I didn’t think he can save, and he is slowly moving them away from their addictions to sin.  Can I get a stinking Hallelujah?

God is able.

I never again want to get in that dark place of not believing that.