spiritual gifts

My Identity Crisis

Blogs about Heather, faithfulness, identity, spiritual gifts

I’m a fresh graduate with a Bachelor’s of Science in Christian Ministry with an emphasis in Youth and a minor in Theology.

While that feels good to SAY, it’s not doing me much good right now.  In a leap of faith, or stupidity, or something like that, I moved back to St. Louis in order to help out with my family.  And while the last month has been fruitful in my relationship with my sister, moving her into my grandparents and giving her somebody constant for once in her life, I am still unemployed. I’m not one to not have anything to do; last year I was a full-time student, worked a draining job for 32+ hours a week, and also worked at a church.  So I was pretty stinking busy!  This month has been great, but I’m out of money, out of patience, and out of sanity.

It’s not all my fault that I’m unemployed, let’s be honest.  I’ve been offered three jobs, but I rejected them, knowing that there is SOMETHING out there that is hand-picked, God-ordained for me.  In my confusion, I applied for a Children’s Minister position in a very rich West County suburb of St. Louis.  Does any part of that sentence make sense to anyone?  I got very far in the process, and basically had it when I woke up one morning and said, “NO.”  What was I thinking?  I’ve been called to ministry with TEENAGERS.  My spiritual gifts of exhortation and teaching would be extremely overlooked in children’s ministry.  Could I have done a “good” job?  Of course.  But I wouldn’t be serving the body of Christ properly had I taken that job.  


All this to say, this summer has been CRAZY. I thought the identity crises would end when I exited college, but they seem to be even worse among me and my fellow college graduates!  It’s weird having a degree, and feeling like you have to beg someone to hire you.  It’s harder having a degree in ministry, knowing that God has called you to something and trying to be faithful to that; yet still not having a way to pay bills. But have I mentioned how faithful GOD has been?  He has been so faithful in providing all of my needs, and I am reminded of how He IS my identity, and all I really need is in Him.  I also humbly remind myself and my colleagues that ministry isn’t a position, but a calling.  I don’t need to be in a church to do ministry.  Ministry is my LIFE.


I have an interview on Tuesday with an organization that helps at-risk youth around STL.  I’m excited about the opportunity, yet sad because I have to start with an overnight position and try to work my way up.  But hey, it’s full-time, pretty good pay, plus I get benefits.  Not gonna complain if I get it!  And it’s better than the other jobs I’ve been offered, because I am confident that my gifts can be used to edify the Church, even if it’s not in a church.

Me, Calm? Pshhh

Blogs about Heather, identity, spiritual gifts, testimony

Over the past few months, I have seen myself involuntarily becoming more and more like Christ.  Not that I don’t want to become like Christ; that is my biggest desire while I’m here on earth.  It’s just I’ll look back at the “Old Heather” and go, “Wow, I sure don’t like the same things I used to; the things in life that brought me pleasure are not the same things that bring me pleasure now.”

For example, I used to shake my booty to all kinds of music…and now I can’t stand to listen to the Top 40 radio station. I don’t think music has gotten “worse”, because I’ll look back at the things I used to kick it to, and go, “Why did this ever bring me joy?”

Of course I’m writing about something greater than my booty-shaking.  If you know me, you know that (minimally) I have a loud personality.  I speak out of turn, I laugh L O U D, I say what’s on my mind, and I am not the definition of “calm”.  I’m emotional, and that drives all the things I listed.  So I think about a few things that have happened to me in the last month–totaling my car on a horse on the highway at midnight, losing an eighth grade girl who means the world to me, and one of the residents at the girls’ shelter trying to kick down my door to kill me.  The Old Heather would have freaked out in each of those situations.  She would have cried hysterically.  She might have harmed herself, emotionally or physically.  She would have blamed God; she would have failed to see His mercy in any of this; she wouldn’t have looked at the positive; she wouldn’t have been able to testify of God’s grace through these situations.  Who I am today is not the same person I was when God chose my heart.  He has conformed me to the likeness of His Son in ways that are inexplicable.  I am still loud; I am still driven by emotions.  But I understand God’s purposes a bit better, and have been blessed by the Spirit’s gifts of discernment, wisdom, patience.  Even in a time right now, where I’m having a dry patch with the Lord, does He call on me, choose me, and change my heart.  I don’t deserve any of it.  And this blind-sided me; that I would ever go through situations like these and BE CALM IN THE LORD.

“since I got that call, no more Saul, now I’m Paul.” –Kirk Franklin, “Lose My Soul” with Toby Mac.

Spiritual Gifts in Youth Ministry

lessons, spiritual gifts, youth ministry

As a youth minister beginning a ministry basically from scratch in the church I began serving in five months ago, I knew that I needed to create a mission statement.  Not just to be all Baptist and cool like that, but I knew I needed something to focus on–something as a template and frame for the ministry.  I came up with, “Grace Fellowship Baptist Church Youth Group exists to unite teenagers together in the Bolivar community to teach them Biblical Truths, disciple them into mature believers, and equip them to express their faith through the use of spiritual gifts to reach the lost world.”

So far, I had been teaching them Biblical Truths. I believe (and hope) that I had been discipling them into mature believers.  But that last part?  Equip them to express their faith through the use of spiritual gifts? Whoa. Spiritual gifts?  Yep, that hadn’t been done for the first few months of ministry (unless you count our epic Christmas skit).

So I knew I had to start somewhere. The first night, we looked at scriptures from Ephesians, Corinthians, and other passages and came up with a list of gifts. I gave them an inventory (you can find one like it here) to begin with.  Although I know these tests aren’t completely reliable, it helps us think about what our gifts could be.  I have a notebook from when I was 13 and first took a test; and the gifts that I scored “high” in then, I score high in now and actually consider them my gifts.  I had completely forgot that I even took one then, so it’s kind of cool to see that the test was “right.”

The next week we talked about the inventory, and laid out the “biblical foundation” for spiritual gifts.  I gave them the following list of spiritual truths:
1. Every Christian has at least one Spiritual Gift (1 Peter 4:10)
2. No Christian has all the gifts (1 Corinthians 12:28-30)
3. We cannot choose our gifts; God does that job (1 Corinthians 12:7-11)
4. There is no gift that every Christian possesses (1 Corinthians 12:29-30)
5. Believers will account to the Lord for how they use their gifts (1 Peter 4:10)
6. Spiritual Gifts indicate God’s call and purpose for a Christian’s life (Romans 12:2-8)
7. Gifts used without love do not accomplish God’s intended purposes (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
8. Spiritual Gifts are for the common good to build up the Body (1 Corinthians 12:27)
9. We must use our gifts. (2 Timothy 3:16; Romans 12; 1 Corinthians 12-14; Ephesians 4; 1 Peter 4)
10. There is affirmation and positive feedback within the Body of Christ for the expression of the gift (1 Corinthians 12:7; Ephesians 4:16)
11. There is agreement within the Body of Christ that the Holy Spirit is at work (1 John 4:1; 1 Thessalonians 5:21)
12. The Holy Spirit provides peace in our spirits as we offer our gifts to the Body of Christ (John 15:26; Romans 8:16)
13. There is evidence of godly fruit in the life of the Body (John 15:8; Matthew 7:16-20)
14. Believers offer their gifts for the common good as others have need (Acts 2:44-45; 1 Corinthians 12:7)
15. Unless gifts are offered in love, they have no worth (1 Corinthians 13:1-3)
16. We should strive to live a life worthy of our calling (Ephesians 4:1)

(I understand that some of those are redundant, but hey.)
When we were discussing that, I came up with a diagram. I’m big into diagrams, and I made this one up on the spot (and have tweaked it every week since). I’m actually quite proud of it (not in a prideful kind of way, haha).

It might seem confusing to you, but it is based off of all the verses in the “biblical foundation” I expressed before.
That took a night or two to go through, because I wanted them to really get into what the bible says and read almost all of the verses.

After that, we went through the gifts in depth.  (You can download the workbook I gave them here…I used “Baptist-friendly” gifts, haha).  We have spent a few Sundays going through it.  We aren’t reading all the scriptures associated, because they already understand that the gift exists through earlier scriptures.  We have spent more than a month of Sunday nights doing this.  I’ve been doing it with the Sunday night crowd for one main reason–the people who are most devoted to the church and to growing spiritually tend to come then.  On Wednesday nights, you never know who is going to come, so it’s easier to do it with the “regulars”.

This won’t be the first time we go through this sort of study.  The hardest thing is trying to get them to think of ways to use their gifts now.  It’s hard when you say, “I have the gift of administration, what can I do with that as a 14-year old?”  Part of my job is to help them come up with ways. Rethinking Youth Ministry posted a blog earlier today about how one youth pastor is trying to do it. I want them to get involved in any facet possible–music, ushering, recreation, leading studies/devotions, tech, prayer, etc.

What ideas do you guys have to help me out?  How do you discuss spiritual gifts with your youth group?  As a young minister, I would like help from those who have been through this before.