youth ministry

The Need for a Contextualized Youth Ministry @youth_min

Contributions, youth ministry, youthmin.org

youth ministry contextualization

This post originally appeared here: http://www.youthmin.org/the-need-for-a-contextualized-youth-ministry/

Every week, there seems to be dozens of posts in my blog roll along the lines of: “What’s Wrong with Youth Ministry?” “Why Youth Ministry Needs to Change” and “A Paradigm Shift in Youth Ministry.”

While I agree that there needs to be some changes in the way we do youth ministry, I don’t think those changes look the same for everyone.  I don’t think Youth Ministry will drastically change if everyone starts making their own lessons, or preaches expositionally, or changes to a small-group format.  I don’t think every church can make those changes; not every youth pastor is paid so that he or she can spend hours making their sermons, not every youth group has the attention span to learn the Bible verse-by-verse, and not every youth group is big enough or has enough volunteers to have small groups.

So what I’m saying is: Youth Ministry needs to fit the culture of the church.  This seems like a no-brainer, but if it is, why are we constantly trying to mimic other the ministries of other churches?  When I was a small church youth pastor, I wanted so badly to have big programming like the larger churches in my area, and was constantly snooping to see what they were doing.  But why?  My church could not do those things.  It is no wonder that so many young people today are leaving churches—they are not getting anything that has been specifically made for them; they are getting the same generic garbage that every other church is feeding off of.

But our churches, especially more conservative churches, have problems when we say we need our ministries to fit “our culture.”  You’ll hear from them (use your best country hick voice here), “The Bible don’t change for no one, so our church don’t change for no one.”  But contextualization does not mean changing what the Bible says; contextualizing means that recognizing the meaning of the text in its context will help us re-contextualize the meaning of the text for our audience.  We have to understand the basic hermeneutic principles of historical and cultural background of the text as well as who it originally impacted.  We are not those same people, therefore we should not force the Biblical text into any cultural mold.  So our churches don’t need to exactly reflect the churches in the Bible (and they typically don’t.)  And therefore our ministries don’t need to be the replicas of the Bible, or each other’s.  One ministry is not necessarily more “Biblical” than another.  And if I tried the same youth ministry model in Canada or Africa or even the next state over, it would not work.

Furthermore, I’m going to play bad-cop and say that youth ministry is not “Biblical” because adolescence did not even exist then.  So we have already submitted to culture by having youth ministry in general.  That does not mean immediately disband all youth ministries (although that might work for your church culture).  I’m saying that youth ministry started as a ministry to fit a cultural need, so why are we not continuing to fit it to our culture?

Why are we still doing the same programming after 25 years?  I know a lot of youth pastors who are angry because students choose activities over the church (we would have never done that “in our day”), but why can’t we move activities around and accommodate students?  Why are we still going to big-name conferences that do nothing spiritual for our students, just because it’s “the place to go?” Do puppet teams fit anyone’s culture?  Why are we depressed because we are not as big, have enough money, or have as great of a beard as “First Baptist”?  We are not the same.  We don’t have the same needs.  I can’t grow facial hair.

Contextualizing is not a bad thing.  If you think your youth ministry needs some big changes, think about the culture of the community—How big is it?  How many churches are there?  What is the income level?  How is the economy doing?   And think about your church as well—Where are they spiritually?  How diverse is it in terms of race, income, gender, etc? What is the “personality” of the church?  It’s there.

Having a contextualized youth ministry means having a continuously growing awareness of your students’ church, community, learning styles, personalities, schools, and culture.  It probably won’t be easy to determine what it will look like to contextualize your youth ministry initially, but with your growing awareness, it will be the most fantastic thing you do for your ministry.

Dan Sadlier said, “Contextualization is like a sweet science that dates back to the Savior. Each page of the scripture drips with leadership who understood their context, and knew how to contextualize for the sake of God’s fame. Study your context, embrace it, and than engage it like the saints who have gone before.”

I’m now the prettiest contributor for YouthMin.Org

Contributions, testimony, women, youth ministry, youthmin.org

Recently something very cool happened to me.  I was asked to write a guest post for YouthMin.Org on women in ministry–which I should know ALL about given my estrogen levels.  And what do you know? They asked me to become a contributor.

I’m pretty stoked about this.  What does this mean for this blog?  Well, I won’t post as much youth-y stuff on it.  One of the great things about YouthMin.Org is that we are seeking to build a one-blog, one-community place for youth ministry.  This is great for a girl like me, who has like 200 people who have been named “top youth ministry blogs” but are filling up my feed with the same old stuff.  I’m sick of the self-promotion.  Why can’t we promote a community?  That’s what this being a part of the Body of Christ is about.

Another thing I love is it’s all about “everyday youth pastors.”  I’m no super-star and no matter how I try, I will never be the female Josh Griffin or Doug Fields.  I’m a young minister who is learning from others and teaching what I learn.  And from what I can tell, these contributors are humble in the same way.

So I encourage you, dear friends, to check out YouthMin.Org for everything youth ministry.  As for this blog, I will continue talking about life lessons I am learning.  And yes, they will talk about ministry.  Ministry is my life.  It will just be different (although my last year of blogging has differed than the year before and so on and so forth ;) )

Blessings,
Heather

Why I Work With Teenagers

leadership, youth ministry

Update: This post was nominated for YouthMin.Org’s “Best Youth Ministry Blog Post of 2012” contest. I made it all the way to the top 34, and was in 17th place, too short to make it to the Sweet Sixteen! I am blessed to have been nominated, and hope that you have been blessed by this post.

 

I love youth ministry. I just love it. I blog about it, tweet about, study it, think about it, pray about it, etc.  I just love it.

I’m currently working in a residential ministry where I work with older teenage girls who are trying to learn practical skills to transition into the adult world.  It’s a challenge in many ways,  but residential ministry has provided some of the most raw ministry I have ever experienced–not many of my youth minister friends can recount moments where they’ve had runaways, experienced a teenager attempting suicide, physically dangerous altercations, or teens in their face screaming obscenities…all while living in the same house as them.  I’m daily struggling to model grace to people who daily fail me.  Yet I really can’t picture myself not working with teenagers.

I’ve heard many times (especially from teens who are in state care) “Why do you work with teenagers?”  I usually brush it off and say “I like it” or “I don’t know” or the occasional “I can take the abuse.”  But this week I really thought about it.

I was called to youth ministry at the age of 17, while volunteering in the youth ministry in my church.  It was others’ conviction in my church that even made me aware of this calling.  I fought it, but came to the conclusion that it was God’s will.  I didn’t understand it, but ever since I’ve been devoted and have realized that I have natural and spiritual giftings that have placed me in this ministry.

But WHY do I like it?  WHY do I do ministry?  It’s not just because I want to give the Gospel–I could be an evangelist, a writer, or even a worker at Walmart.  It’s not that.

It’s not because I like working with teenagers, either.  I mean, I love them, don’t get me wrong.  But this is a hard ministry–teenagers can be manipulative, and there are always hard moments when one has failed you. Emotionally, this is a taxing ministry.  There are days when all I can do is pop in the second VHS of Titanic and cry the night away because of something that has happened.

It’s also not because I think the church is a great place to work either.  I believe in the church, I am devoted to the Church as a whole and to the church community.  But church can be a messy place to work.

So, I’m sure you’re thinking by now “This girl is not called.  She isn’t in it for the Gospel, because teenagers are rewarding, or because she believes in the church.”  I didn’t say that exactly.  I am in it for all those things, but they aren’t the reason I like working with teenagers.  At the end of the day those reasons aren’t the reasons that keep me going.  Maybe I’m wrong for that.

When I was a teenager, I had a rough life.  I had absent parents in an urban community where I was easiy influenced and made bad decisions.  I had to make it through myself–figure out how to cook, clean, drive, pay for college, etc.  More than that, I had to learn what it looks like to have a relationship with Jesus Christ.    I had very few positive influences in my life, and really relied on God alone to get me through a lot of situations and had to find my own resources when it came to practical needs.  What I love about youth ministry is making a difference in lives that need the difference; being that consistent mentor and provider for someone.  I love it when I can teach a teenager a new skill, whether it’s a new meal to prepare, a fun word in Spanish, or a concept in the Bible.  I love being a sounding board for problems and being a constant source of confidentiality.  I love providing teenagers with resources so that they can better their lives.

This is why I love working with teenagers–to give them someone that I didn’t have.  This is also why it’s crucial for me to act with integrity and consistency.

We all have something special that we bring to the youth ministry table, something unique that helps us connect to our students.  I challenge you to think about why you love working with teenagers.  Let’s be honest, there are reasons deeper than “spreading the gospel” or “loving the church.”  Because there are easier ways to do that than working with teenagers.  And it’s not “loving teenagers” that is the sole reason why we do ministry; because teenagers break our hearts no matter if you work in a church, a school, or as a parent.  Why is it?  I would love to hear your reasons :)

Discipling Disciples

christianity, church, discipleship, friendship, youth ministry

This weekend I met with my mentor.  And I always have to blog afterwards.
I was meeting my mentor at Dairy Queen, because one of the girls I spent a lot of one-on-one discipleship with at the last church I served at worked there, and I was in town visiting people.  As I was standing there waiting for Lydia (my mentor) to arrive, I thought about how funny it was that Mackenzie (the young lady I was invested in) had no idea of the impact Lydia has made on her life.  I told Lydia this, and she told me that she recently went to her mentor’s wedding and met her mentor’s mentor and was thinking the same thing.  So now Mackenzie has four generations of mentors accounted for above her.  I told Mackenzie, and she kind of shrugged it off (I mean, she’s 16 and was at work) but I think she thought it was pretty cool.
Visiting my college town the weekend before their classes started was strange for me.  I drove past a campus event, and looked out at all the fresh faces.  It was so strange to be around during freshmen orientation, and not have any “plan” or even excitement about the possibilities of investing in futures students… but I realized that’s why I discipled new students, so they could disciple the next line of students, and so on and so forth.
This is discipleship: equipping disciples to disciple.  We are called to be students and teachers at the same time.  When you think about the people you are investing in, think about the opportunities they have to invest in others! The thought is exciting!  I think about the students I mentor, and how they have friends, siblings, coworkers, even parents that they can invest in and bring truth to.  When you invest in one person, you literally have access to investing into the world.  Bam.  Exciting.

Trying to Find a Job in Student Ministry?

church, youth ministry

It’s weird that this is my most-viewed post, but here it is:

Trying to find a job in student ministry? It can seem overwhelming trying to decide where to start. Here are some starter points:

Email some of your connections; you may find you have more than you think:
  • professors from your university or seminary
  • the head of your area convention
  • past churches you have worked for, preached at, or been in any kind of connection with
  • youth pastors in other churches
Here are some organizations that help connect you to the right church.
Denomination Websites:
Here are search engines that are specifically related to finding church jobs:
Here are some “general” sites that combine most sites (like Monster, CareerBuilder, etc) into one for easy Job searches:
Look on Christian university websites:
Non-Profit Organizations
Camps

A special thanks to all of you who have been sending me sites to add to this list! Wouldn’t it just be easier if there was one place for all listings?

Using Twitter to Network in Ministry

media, networking, youth ministry

Some people don’t understand the “point” of Twitter.  I absolutely love Twitter.  Some use Twitter to get breaking news from sports teams, celebrities, and news corporations.  I do that.  Some use Twitter to post everything they are doing that day. I’ve occasionally done that.  Some use Twitter to be passive aggressive about something.  I’ve been guilty of that.

But my favorite usage of Twitter is networking, especially with others in Youth Ministry.  When I was in college, I was an officer in the Baptist Association of Christian Educators, a national organization of Christian educators dedicated to networking.  My position was to facilitate connections with others going into ministry within my university.  BACE became my and the other officers’ baby, as our understanding of the need of networking within ministry increased.  Why is networking with others in ministry important?  That’s simple.  Because ministry is relational; networking provides resources, encouragement, and communication.

Twitter is a great way to network.  You can connect with people without exposing your profile to “creepers” like on Facebook.  There are many people who I communicate with on Twitter that I wouldn’t “friend” on Facebook because they are two completely different kinds of networking.  Facebook is more for connecting with real-life friends.  Twitter is more for connecting with people who you may not have met in real life, but still gain some kind of relationship with without sharing too much personal information.

Here are some #TwitterTips for networking with others in ministry, thanks to Rachel Blom @youthleadersac, searching #TwitterTip, and some own interpretations and pet peeves…:

  • Follow religious leaders, other ministers from around the country/world, and teen news sources.  All three will give you a nice plethora of information.  Make “lists” on Twitter to keep track of different groups of people.
  • Be generous in retweeting others’ posts. It’s a compliment and builds connections.
  • Tweet a mixture of personal and professional tweets.  Why?  Because the professional tweets give people resources, the personal tweets give people a relationship.
  • Do not tweet your personal blog post multiple times a day.  Maybe twice, perhaps three times; but posting the same personal blog post more than that is grounds for the “unfollow” button.
  • Don’t make your personal Twitter your Twitter for your ministry group…if you tweet dozens of times a day, parents don’t want to read that.
  • Post prayer requests.  There are Twitter accounts dedicated to praying for youth pastors.
  • If a stranger legitimately replies to your post, respond! You’re not too good for any Twitter relationship (if the account is legit).
  • If you want your tweet retweeted, leave room so they can do so. When retweet others’ posts, add a comment so show then your appreciation.
  • #HASHTAG. This is how you will find people to network with.  Hashtagging makes it simple to find the kind of information you want and people to follow.  My favorites are #stumin, #youthmin, #uthmin, and #fammin
  • Post a variety of resources.  In my Twitter feed, you will see news stories, music to listen to, blogs, and products.  They are all related to Student Ministry, but there is a lot of different resources
  • Follow people who follow you. It’s just polite. And there must be some reason they want to follow you, so check that out.
  • Attracting followers means communicating with them.  Don’t expect to have 1000 followers if you don’t talk to any of them.
  • Put the type of people you want to follow you in your Bio. If you want to network with those in ministry, put you are in ministry. Simple.
  • Try tweeting at different times throughout the day and see when you get the biggest response.
  • Numbers aren’t everything. It can be pretty easy to gain hundreds of followers, but would you rather have numbers or community? (sounds like a Jesus Juke!)
  • Tweet people the way you would want them to tweet you.

There are many things I am missing. For more #TwitterTip, look up that hashtag on Twitter. Also, here are the official Twitter Rules.

Question: What #TwitterTips am I missing?

What I miss about Youth Ministry

church, leadership, youth ministry

Two months ago, I quit my job as a youth minister at a church in order to follow God’s will and move back to St. Louis to help out with my family. The last two months has been an extremely interesting time for me, as I graduated college and moved in with my grandparents transitionally, assisted in the transferring of my sister’s custody from my parents, and am learning what it means to rest and not do anything. I am job-seeking and often discouraged, because I miss doing ministry and can’t see my life doing anything else.

 Here are some things I miss about doing youth ministry (in no particular order):

  • Sword fights with middle school boys. 
  • Being in a library surrounded by exegetical commentaries. 
  • Having crazy stories to tell my friends and anyone else I force to listen about this week’s hilarious thing that happened to me/a youth. 
  • Rolling my eyes as the girls seek out “potential suitors” for me 
  • Teaching thrice a week…I love teaching. 
  • Discipling teenage girls one-on-one. 
  • Answering relationship advice from boys. 
  • Getting random gifts.
  • Helping students through sin in their life. 
  • “Excuses/Reasons” to be constantly in the Word. 
  • Being invited over for home cooking.
  • Students making fun of me because my car makes weird noises. 
  • “Thirsty Thursdays”—picking up teens from school and going to Sonic for happy hour. 
  • Commenting on every single one of their Facebook statuses…haha 
  • Feeling essential in their life when they need prayer for someone I don’t even know. 
  • I even miss being used as a chauffeur when they want to go to a sports game or concert and “need a responsible adult” to go with them. 
  • All-nighters.
  • Forcing Christian rap upon impressionable students.
  • Conversations about spiritual gifts.
  • That moment when I throw out some Greek and the HS boys think I’m legit. 
  • Working through crazy analogies with students, like “spiritual pants.”  I still am unsure about that one. 
  • Challenging students.
  • Being made fun of because I’m from the “hood.”
  • Building relationships with parents. Definitely one of my favorite things. 
  • Coming to my pastor when I’m worn out and venting without his judgment and getting straight-up counsel.
  • Thirty Hour Famine, camp, VBS, missions projects, all that good stuff.
  • I even miss complaining. I must be crazy.
  • The cards, notes, Facebook posts/messages, and hugs of encouragement from parents and other adults in the church.
I love ministry, and yearn for that time when I can do it again! :)

Green Lantern, Thi’sl, Fear, my new job, youth ministry…they all connect, I promise.

media, unchurched, youth ministry

If you have been reading my Twitter feed or my Facebook statuses, you probably know that now on top of being a full-time student and part-time youth minister, I also now put in 32 hours at a girls’ shelter every week.  This shelter is a transitional living setting for teenage girls who have a range of issues, with most being mildly mentally retarded (“low functioning”) and having anger/aggression issues.  They have either been taken away from their families, or their families have given them up to the foster system.   Most have assault charges, many from the shelter workers, and many from their family (siblings, parents, grandparents, you name it).  This is a tough job.  I’ve been having nightmares about these girls.  They are for the most part as sweet as can be, but they get mad from the smallest (and seemingly strangest) triggers.  And when they get mad, they are likely to get physical.  It’s a difficult job.

I’m passionate about teenagers and youth ministry, that is no secret.  I am working in a church, and I love it.  The problem I have had in church work is that I’m not dealing with “real” issues it seems sometimes.  When I left St. Louis, I knew eventually I wanted to do inner-city ministry.  I want to work with people whose lives have been traumatized by drugs, alcohol, promiscuity, and abandonment.  These are issues that I know about.  I was needing something more than these “perfect kids” (which I am thankful for at times–makes my job easy! ;)).  This job gives me girls that, although aren’t in the “inner-city” area, have the same kinds of issues.

But they kind of scare me, something that I didn’t really think would happen.  I suppose it’s because if a girl with anger/aggression issues gave me a dirty look, the old me in STL could intimidate her back.  She cursed at me, she could get it back.  She fought me, I could fight her back.  But that’s the old Heather, a Heather who wasn’t concerned about how to help these girls, but how to not get my butt kicked.  So I’m fearful–how do I communicate with these girls, get them not to fight me, and spread the love of Jesus Christ to them all at the same time?

We saw the movie “Green Lantern” together last week, and the movie had a great message that I didn’t realize until now–we are to operate from will, not fear.  Will should be the guiding fuel for everything we do, not fear.  Fear is the tool of the enemy; the enemy uses fear to attack us.  We should be using our innermost desires to guide our actions.  For these girls, they want to be loved.  They’re fearful that they can’t so they operate from that fear.  If they operated from their will, they wouldn’t really use harsh words.  They would do everything they can to help others, to be kind, to be fair, and to be everything that Christ was and is.

Another thing that really spoke to me is the song “I Signed up to Die” by Christian rapper Thi’sl.  This song is about missionaries–whether local or abroad.  I was reminded that I am a missionary to these girls.  My responsibility is to be Christ to them, because they have never seen him and have no clue what Jesus was about. And what if they attack me?  What if they hurt me?  I signed up for this.  They need someone who is fearless of them, someone who is there out of love.  Love that can ONLY come from the Father.

Live such good lives so that when they speak against you as doing wrong, they’ll see your good deeds and glorify God. 1 Peter 2:12 (Heather Standard Version)

This is what I need right now.  They think I’m wronging them every time I discipline them or restrict them from doing things that they want.  But when they speak against me as hating them, they’ll realize that everything I do for them is for their own good, and out of Love.  Reminds me of how we cry out to God, “God, why do you hate me?  What did I do wrong?”  Yet God has never left our side, never forsaken us; always had our best interest at heart, an interest that desires for us to be like Him.  That’s my responsibility with these girls.

Happy New Year!

youth ministry

Gotcha! It’s August!

You just walked out your door hoping to see snow.  Boy were you confused when you started sweating.

It’s a new school year.  I don’t have any advice, as I am a busy busy girl and don’t have much to say.  I’m thankful that there are 170342 youth ministry gurus out there to give you all kinds of advice on how to handle the new year of youth ministry.

Why am I blogging then?  I’m blogging a cool idea!

We are having a New Years’ party at Grace Fellowship!  Sunday we have Promotion Sunday, then after service the hospitality committee is putting on a lunch, and we’re having hotdogs and milkshakes (snocones too!).  Then that night is a great surprise!  We’re having a New Years’ party.  They are going to make a list of New Years Resolutions, play some games that would usually only be played on December 31st, and more!  I’m pretty pumped about this idea.

Now, it’s super tough trying to find supplies in the middle of August.  I called every Dollar Tree and Party City and Hobby Lobby within a 45 minute radius.  Nothing.  But I have an Amazon Prime account, so I ordered a few things off of there that will be shipped to my door Saturday! Bazinga!

Another cool thing we are doing this year is an idea called “Blessing Buddy”.  Each person is going to draw a name out of a hat, and they are going to go out of their way to bless that person.  We tried this for a month, and I saw a few flaws in it.  One, the night we draw names not everyone is there.  It may be easier to just assign names.  Two, how do we bless them?  My youth are taking manila folders and filling out an info sheet about them, then attaching it to the folder.  If they wanna decorate it, hey.  Then we are attaching them to the wall.  Their blessing buddy can creep on their folder, and if they make something small enough to fit in there, they can.  Or they can leave instructions in there and lead them on a scavenger hunt to their real present….ooo.

Well, there are two fun ideas for you.  Let me know if you do any of them and how they go!

Questions:
How do you handle the New Year in youth ministry?
What are some new ideas you are excited to implement?

Why the Honeymoon Has to End

church, leadership, youth ministry

I heard repeatedly in my college youth ministry classes that in ministry, there is always this initial “honeymoon” that each minister goes through.  For a few months if you’re good, half a year if you’re lucky, a year if the church has their heads in the clouds just like you…haha.   I didn’t believe it in class, and even had an arrogance to how long I could go before it did.  The honeymoon has to end eventually though.  Why?

1.  Because you’re bound to screw up eventually.
I went 9 months strong before my honeymoon ended.  Every time I messed up, I would “wince” to how harsh the punishment could get.  Like the time we painted our youth room and paint got all over the church…we cleaned it up quickly but you know there is going to be that one kid that talks and tells the wrong person ;).  Or the time I drove on the wrong side of the road (in my defense, it was a country road at midnight, and the youth assured me I was doing the right thing).  But those weren’t what hurt me thankfully, because those are the things that get addressed immediately.  What are the mistakes that get us in trouble?  Lack of communication with parents, with students, with other church leaders.  And yes, the occasionally “dumb” accident like I stated.  We’re human.  We screw up.  We say “crap” to the wrong person and it offends them.  We get a ticket from speeding in the church van.  Someone breaks an arm on the slip-in-slide we made slick with Tide.  It’s bound to happen that we screw up.

2. Because you finally understand the flaws of the ministry you are serving.
The first few months you kind of go through the motions, “try out” some different programs or formats of youth meetings, grow relationships, but most importantly get a grasp of who are the student leaders and who needs the most attention.  You understand why the church or youth group isn’t growing.  You begin seeing why teens come on Wednesday nights and not Sunday mornings.  And these are things that start bothering you inside.  Tension grows between you and whatever aspect of the church/ministry you feel is a hindrance–is it the music? preaching? volunteers? the students? yourself?  These things start piling up, little thing by little thing, and they result in a burn-out.  I know that in my “Christian Ministry Apprenticeship” class, we talked about all kinds of mock situations that would happen in church, and I would boldly say exactly what I would do.  My professor loved my energy and enthusiasm, but called me naive.  I understand why now.  When those situations arise, we rack our brains 24/7 trying to come up with how to solve the solution, how to talk to your pastor or another person about it, etc.  I can rehearse in my head 2340874 times how I want to talk to Church Council about something, but it never comes out the way it sounds in my head.  So sometimes we don’t say it.  And our ministry hurts as a result of our “good intentions” of not hurting others or our paycheck.

3.  Because you are drained…and need a vacation.
Except when you are a minister, you can call it a sabbatical and it makes it sound needed, not just for fun!  People don’t understand how draining ministry can be.  Putting any conflict aside, it’s draining pouring out your life to individuals who frankly don’t care most of the time (especially if you don’t get the response you desire). Burn-out is bound to happen.

Don’t get me wrong, the honeymoon ending stinks.  But it is necessary.  Now that your head is out of the clouds, you can honestly address the needs of the ministry and of the church.

Questions I have for you reading:
How do you address these situations in your church?
What do you do when you are burned out?