Distinguishing Youth Group from Other Groups

church, Contributions, youth ministry, youthmin.org

This post originally appeared here: http://youthmin.org/distinguishing-youth-group-from-other-groups/

A recent profile was done by The Associated Press on the rise of “Atheist Mega Churches” in the United States.

These churches look exactly like most church services do–there is singing, community, and an inspirational message. The only thing that makes them different is that the message doesn’t contain God.

I must admit; as I read this article, I couldn’t help but shake my head. The thing is, I can think of a lot of church experiences that I have had that look exactly like these Atheist churches. There are a lot of churches with sermons that only throw God in there when it is convenient and comfortable. They focus on music and messages and meetings that affirm you, which admittedly can have some positive impact; however, they miss the most important component–Christ.

Now, I’m not going to get into this too deeply, for I feel that God hasn’t given me the specific place to call these experiences out.

What I do feel compelled to talk about is this:

What makes your student ministry meetings different?

What makes a Sunday/Wednesday/______ different for your teenagers compared to any other place that they step into in their week? How is it different from school? Work? Practice? Rehearsal? Clubs?

You see, there should be a difference. I should be able to tell the difference between the Body meeting versus non-Christians, just as I should be able to tell the difference between a Christian church and an Atheist church.

… but sometimes I can’t tell.

In the comments, I would like you to :
1. Tell me WHY it is important that our experiences with the Body should be different.
2. Tell me how YOU strive to make YOUR youth group a place that is different from any other place for your teenagers.

Called…even in transition

church, Contributions, leadership, youth ministry, youthmin.org

This post originally appeared on : http://youthmin.org/called-even-in-transition/

I resigned from my church a little over a year ago, on a conviction to move back to St. Louis and take care of some family matters. It was tough. I assumed that because God was calling me to do this, He would open up a church position for me in no time. But after 100s of resumes and 3 months unemployed, I accepted a different position at a ministry group home to teenagers. And a year later, I’m still there and still looking for a church job.

At first, I questioned God often: “Why, if you’ve called me to youth ministry, am I not in a church?” I didn’t understand.

A year later, I’m finally getting it:

Calling isn’t a career, but a lifestyle.

Take life by the horns.

Quit being so miserable. Spending my days obsessing over how I wasn’t in a church and nobody liked me and blahblahblah was a waste of time. And you, if you are “in transition” like myself, should not waste your time being miserable because you aren’t “fulfilling your calling.”

Find contentment. That is not, “Well, this is the best it’s going to get, so I’m just going to deal…” Truly find a way to enjoy life and love it.

Another thing: are you making your family and friends miserable with your misery? Take it from somebody that got told to “shut up” … just be content and learn to love life where you are.

Quit putting your calling in a box.

I thought that because I was called to youth ministry, that meant that I was only fulfilling that calling by working in a church. I think my friends and family would laugh at me saying that I’m not fulfilling my calling right now: I work with teenagers 250 hours a month at my job. I volunteer in a local church. I work for a youth ministry website. I honestly think that I just really enjoyed feeling sorry for myself, and I needed to find contentment.

We are all called to minister…and sometimes God calls us to do specific ministries to specific peoples. You may not be in a church, but there are plenty of other ways to minister to teenagers. There are group homes, youth organizations, or churches in need of the best volunteers they could ever ask for.

Put your calling in current context.

So maybe you aren’t able to work with churched teenagers… there are still others out there who need the Gospel; in fact, they need to hear it more. Use this time to use your calling to reach those who are unusually unreached.

You are called to minister to people, not to a building.

PS… if you are reading this and want to hire me, I’m game.

Balancing Liberal VS Conservative Worldviews

Blogs about Heather, christianity, church, theology, unchurched

Trying to find the balance between the “uber-religious-Bible-thumping-conservative” and “uber-worldy-Bible-ignorant-liberal” worldviews can be TOUGH.

First-off, it is a false dichotomy; but just like with American political parties, there is a pressure to align with one or the other.

So I do what I’ve always tried to do–read a variety of sources that are conservative, liberal, and all in between–to challenge my existing and developing worldview.

But some days, like today, I just want to hit my head against the wall.

God has gifted me with the spiritual gift of empathy and exhortation. This gift means that I understand where people are coming from, for the most part. So I can read one side and go “wow, I totally see where you are coming from. not sure if I agree, but I get it” then read the rebuttal and go “ditto.” Or, sometimes, I read something (from both sides of any issue), and can go “What kind of crock is this?” How is it not one or the other? How can it be both? How could it be neither? I grew up with the worldview that it was one or the other…and that’s a worldview that we all kind of get stuck with.

Some of my recent posts on teaching sex to teenagers raised some eyebrows from my conservative friends, who thought I was pushing a little heretical. Which made me laugh, because…uh… I’m still fairly conservative, just a little provocative in thinking. At least, in my opinion. I was even told by a friend I was bold for posting these, as she wouldn’t if she was looking for a position in a church like I am. But then this morning, I was told in a comment to an article on Facebook that I was teaching sexism to my girls. So what am I? Am I a liberal feminist? Or a conservative sexist? Surely I’m not both.

These are the woes of a young evangelical trying to own her faith. And do you think I’m the only one experiencing this? How about all people in their twenties are going through the same thing…yet we don’t have a place in our church to help them out. That’s another soapbox for another day.

Here’s the take-a-ways from this random rant:

Own YOUR faith. Don’t just follow along with whatever you were taught as a child, or what your pastor teaches you, or what your parents tell you, or what popular media tells you. Don’t take things at face value.
Read/watch/immerse yourself in varying materials, materials that challenge your existing worldview. Yes, you will want to hit your head against the wall like me. But you will be able to identify (1) what you believe (2) why you believe it (3) rebuttals to your view (4) why others believe what they believe. You won’t have to claim ignorance.
Don’t feel pressured to be “one” or “the other.” Christ, Paul, and the early church made Pharisees and sinners alike cringe at times. You’re not going to fit into some pretty, packaged box.
It is okay to feel confused when it comes to faith. Just look to Christ. Strive to live like Him, and all that other stuff will fall in line or fade away, depending on how important it truly was.

Check out this photo by Andy Mineo http://instagram.com/p/dmfkNJRtvI/ I saw it and went BINGOOO.

Love God, serve others, seek the Kingdom, be like Christ.

Cut the Crap: Get Transparent

christianity, Contributions, youth ministry, youthmin.org

This article originally appeared on: http://youthmin.org/cut-the-crap-get-transparent/

When I went to the Simply Youth Ministry Conference in March, I was stoked. One of the biggest blessings that I had was being able to meet so many people that I have networked with over the last three years in the blogosphere. I had some really encouraging and hilarious conversations with many people who have a decade more experience and eons more wisdom than I.

One thing that showed up in our conversations is their affirmation of the characteristic in myself that I sometimes hate: my transparency. I was often told that my transparency is what sets me apart, and never stop showing that. This was encouraging for me, as I rarely get transparency from people as much as I show it, and one of the biggest things I struggle with in the personality of youth pastors is their lack of transparency.

So, session after class after conversation, this theme showed up. In a large-group session, I was pushed to visualize my struggles and let them go. In this session, we were encouraged to write all of our junk on a hackey sack with a marker. I wrote junk after junk after junk on this thing. Then we had to get in a small group and share one thing. I looked around and saw some very empty hackey sacks, and heard some even emptier answers. When it was my turn to share, I clammed up. Yes me. I walled up and let out some answer that was half the truth, because the rest of my group couldn’t share their junk. Then we had to group-juggle our hackey sacks, which could have been a great exercise to show the fact that we sometimes not only juggle our junk, but others’ as well…except my group wanted to make a systematic “1–2–3″ countdown in order to pass ours around. It showed me that even though I may be transparent, and others may say they want more transparency, many still won’t show it.

So youth pastor, cut the crap. If we can’t be transparent about these issues with one another, then we have a serious problem.

Transparency is hard, I get it. We are afraid that the truth will drive others away. We are fearful that if we were to get real with one another, we may be looked at as a Negative Nancy.

But what transparency does is worth it: First off, it makes you feel better. You realize that someone out there gets it. You begin to understand that you are not the only person struggling with what you are struggling with, and you can solve the issue together.

We are in ministry together.

One of the things I love is the Facebook group community that YouthMin.Org has. Many youth pastors are transparent on there and share their struggles…and even if not publicly, they message myself and other contributors and share their junk with us (and I with them).

One passage that I meditate on time and time again is in Philippians 4, and I’m sure you can quote this by heart: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

But we forget that next verse: “Yet it was kind of you to share my struggle.” We struggle with junk after junk, but not alone. We do this as a team.

Feel free to contact me or anybody on the team, and let’s do this together.

4 Easy Ways to Build Rapport with Your Senior Pastor

church, Contributions, leadership, youth ministry, youthmin.org

This article originally appeared on: http://youthmin.org/4-easy-ways-to-build-rapport-with-your-senior-pastor-leadingup/

As a part of YouthMin’s Leading Up series this month, I feel that one of the most important things that you can do to get your supervisor/senior pastor to be willing to learn from you, and in turn, be “led” by you, is to create a great rapport.

Show them your life.

Invite them over to your house for dinner with your crazy family, or invite your family over to their house! Share life together, and talk about things other than church. Use your personal hobbies to bless them–can you grill a mean steak or knit a mean sweater? Bless them! Show them that you have a personality.

When I secured my current position, my supervisor told me that she fell in love with my personality during the interview and knew she had to have me on her team. Did I have decent credentials? Sure, but what makes us a good team is that we actually like each other. We talk about our families, our problems, and our successes and celebrate them together.

Find shared ground.

Oh, you like baseball? I love baseball! BAM we’re at a baseball game, drinking 7-dollar Cokes, and cheering on our team. And next week in the office, we will reminisce of how that crazy Cubs fan dumped their beer on us in an angry rage because the Cardinals are the bomb.com.

Memories, people. Make them! You don’t like baseball? Then find things to “geek out” over together–other sports, television shows, exercise, your Molkeskine journals, those hipster shoes, and favorite exegetical techniques.

Invest in their children.

(Joshua Fuentes will talk more about this soon!)

When I ask my supervisor how her son’s football season is going, and even commit to going to a game, it helps our relationship. I loved mentoring the high school girl of my senior pastor at my last church, and that really did add to the relationship I had with her father. I even considered dating the adult son of another one of my senior pastors…just kidding.

Be mentored by them or their spouse.

Bonus: You and your spouse are mentored by them and their spouse. As I said before in 3 other ways, invest in each other. I am fully convinced that vulnerably and intentionally investing is the only way to build rapport with your supervisor.

What happens when you build good rapport with your supervisor/senior pastor?

The most beautiful thing that will ever happen in ministry: They will have your back. They will understand your heart and where you are coming from in ministry. At my first director position in a church, I came to my senior pastor with a pretty big change in mind. Because we were invested in each other (common ground: I love to learn and he loves to teach. BAM!), he had my back 100%, even when a few others didn’t.

If you are currently in a position where the relationship is flawed, I don’t think that relationship is permanently doomed. Try to understand them by investing in them… take out your selfish motives and consider that maybe you aren’t the only person who doesn’t feel like your back is covered.

What do you guys think? How do you build rapport with your supervisor/senior pastor?

The Value of Student Activities in Youth Ministry

church, Contributions, youth ministry, youthmin.org

This article originally appeared here: http://youthmin.org/youth-group-vs-school-activities/

One of the frustrations that I hear many youth ministers talk about is the fact that their students seem more concerned with extracurriculars than they are youth group or church.

I hear things like:

They don’t value God or the church because they miss youth group.
They think football is more important on a Friday night than a youth event.
They can’t give Jesus just 90 minutes of their time a week.

And I hear you, friends. I’ve felt like you, and I mean, I still get frustrated. But I’m a little more empathetic to the students, and here’s why.

Going to youth group doesn’t produce a college scholarship.

That’s blunt, I know. Yet, with the costs of college, teenagers are trying to do whatever it takes to help pay for it.

Now, there are things that you can do as a youth pastor to help this out:

Provide missions opportunities to help them gain community service/volunteer work to put on their resumes. Bonus: make it open to the community of high schoolers and not just your church teens (can you say outreach?).
Find a way to have more student leadership positions, so that your students can put that on their resume.
Find people within the church who can invest scholarships into some of your teenagers.

I know first-hand that you can be a part of clubs and still be active in church; I participated and was an officer in 8 clubs in high school (I’m crazy, I know); however, I didn’t do sports while in high school, which are mega-time-consuming. I also know that very few (if any) of your high school students will actually make it to the big leagues… Yet I also know the benefits of being on a team and the skills you can learn from that. They are valuable skills that I think should be encouraged.

Teenagers need to be able to spread the gospel.

We emphasize to our teenagers about going into their “mission field” to spread the Gospel. Where else can they spread it? They can’t exactly spread the Gospel in math class. There’s lunch period, but other than that there aren’t any real opportunities.

I think we should encourage our teens to get involved in clubs and sports so that they can have opportunities to spread the Gospel in real-life situations. Otherwise, when they become an adult, their only experiences of sharing the Gospel will be from Missions Projects with their Youth Group.

Jesus isn’t exclusively at youth group.

One of the biggest annoyances to me is when youth pastors say that when a student doesn’t come to youth group, they’re putting their extracurriculars over Jesus. Really? Are Sunday and Wednesday the only times that Jesus shows up? And are you really that audacious to say that what you are providing is equivalent to Jesus?

Youth ministry isn’t exclusively at youth group.

Just like Jesus just isn’t on Sundays, neither should you. We need to learn to reach teenagers on their turf.

You need to consider the culture. Honestly, if you live in a football town, why would you put a youth event on a Friday Night? You should be at the game living life with them and rooting on your student players. Maybe your students get swamped in the school year and Wednesdays aren’t the right days for you.

Ministry happens at the lunch table, at a baseball game, in a small group, in dodgeball, and in youth group. It happens in a text conversation, and also in a warm hug. They may not come to that 90 minute meeting, but is that all you’re offering them? Small groups and mentors are great alternatives to youth group–just make sure you’re plugging them in and giving them options.

Consider that what you’re offering isn’t more appealing than chess club.

This goes back to culture–what reaches your students? Maybe that senior girl doesn’t come to Wednesdays because she hates messy games and has no alternative. Maybe that middle school boy doesn’t come because there are too many girls and he needs a small group of other guys. You may have to consider that what you have going on isn’t pulling students in, and you may have to be courageous enough to do things differently.

I’m not saying to be “seeker friendly.” I’m saying be “culturally appropriate.” Jesus used parables in order to relate the Gospel in a way for people to understand it…and even that went over their heads. So while you’re not always going to get it right, at least you tried to consider your students and reach them where they’re at.

Now, I get it: There will be teens to do put up some pretty lame excuses as to why they can’t come. Love on them anyway.

What are some ways that you’ve encouraged your teens to do extracurriculars, but still maintained a healthy youth group presence?

You remind me of God.

christianity, church, discipleship, friendship, god, identity, love, Relationships

When is the last time you looked at someone you despise (because, let’s admit it: you don’t like everyone) and was able to pick out characteristics in them that remind you of God?

I was asked this about some people in my life who hurt me, and I really struggled: It’s easy to find things about a person we don’t like, but what about things we like about them? Better yet, what are some things in them that remind me of God?

Being able to say, “I see God in you” has impacted my relationships with those I struggle with. I’m now able to say to them: “You are very creative. It reminds me of God.” “You are outgoing. It reminds me of God’s boldness.” “The way you love people reminds me of God.” It has radically impacted relationships…and even if they don’t appreciate the comment, it helps my heart to focus on these things.

Let’s expand here and think outside our “enemies.” When is the last time you encouraged a friend, telling them you see the Lord in them? For me, almost never. When a friend told me how I remind her of God, it only confirmed what I was learning: It changes people when they hear how they relate to the Creator of the universe.

So here is your homework for this week: Focus on a few people in your life–at least one friend and one not-so-much–and tell them what you see in them that reminds you of God. What message is more powerful than that?

Apathy is not the Problem

christianity, church, leadership, unchurched, youth ministry

Teenagers do well if they want to. This is a “fact;” there have been many resources trying to help parents, leaders, and youth workers get their teenagers to be less apathetic. I’ve read some of these, and agree that apathy is certainly a problem. So, we spend week after week at the pulpits trying to inspire teenagers to commit to change. We pour into their lives with discipleship, trying to get them to see that someone cares about them, and therefore they should care too. Yet at the end of the day, we leaders can feel extremely empty and dry. I know personally that I can pour out everything that I have into students and often times it dries me up emotionally, physically, spiritually. I read articles that tell me how to motivate, but I feel like I’m doing my best job! I’m sure everyone who reads this relates to this frustration.

So what if apathy isn’t the problem?

It’s certainly a problem; I mean, if it’s not our teenagers’ lack of motivation, what is stopping them from growing in faith? Instead of simply trying to inspire them, what if we looked at what they’re apathetic about and encourage change in action and not in behavior? The mentality is no longer “Teens do well if they want to,” but “Teens do well if the’re able to.”

This model was first described in the book The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene. Watch him explain more about this idea in this video. I attended a training session on this idea this last month, and wanted to share what I learned with the youth ministry community.

Under the mentality of “Teenagers do well if they’re able to,” it’s no longer about if they want to or not. Some teenagers want to advance the gospel but still can’t because all they’re being told is “do it” but they don’t know how. Some teenagers want to quit a particular sin, but don’t have the tools to stop. They want to, but can’t. If you give them the tools, they’ll be able to. And for those teenagers who don’t want to, even Martin Luther King couldn’t inspire that teen; but if you teach them the tools, they might change without even wanting to. It’s like a teenager who doesn’t want to go to school–the underlying problem is they think they are stupid. If you educate them, they can succeed anyway, even if they never wanted to. Ha! Tricksy!

This changes our roles as youth leaders drastically: We are no longer a motivator, but an equipper. Greene says that with the old model, our job greatly narrows what the teenager can do in their life–making them want to do something and nothing more. Under this new model, pastoring is not as much about transferring our desire for the gospel, but our knowledge of the gospel. Pastoring isn’t about motivating teenagers with the best fluff and feel-good stuff you got, but about giving them the tools. Sure, apathy is a problem. Yes, we should definitely try to inspire and motivate our students to share the same passion as us. Of course, there will be some teens that don’t change; this model is not the answer to all of your youth ministry problems. If you give them the tools and they still aren’t changing, then you shouldn’t feel dry as you may have before; you’ve done your best job as a youth pastor.

What do you guys think about this model? How do you think this may impact the way that you do ministry? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Prayer Requests from a Youth Pastor in Newtown

church, networking, prayer, youth ministry

This is copied directly from http://teenbuilding.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/my-conversation-with-a-youth-pastor-from-newtown-ct/

We are all still reeling from the school shooting that happened this past weekend. This afternoon, I had the privilege of talking with a youth pastor from Newtown, CT. He works with children and teenagers in his community just minutes from where the shooting happened.

There was a lot that he and I talked and prayed about. Here are a few of the prayer requests that he said that I could feel free to share.

1. For his personal healing. Help him find joy in suffering.

2. Many of the families in their church were friends or associates with victims families.

3. That God would use this tragedy for His Glory. Provide a spiritual awakening in the town.

4. The town is crawling with media and it’s proving difficult to try and live any semblance of normal living.

5. The church wants to help and is trying to find their role in the healing process.

6. There were kids from the youth group that had recently gone off to college that had known Adam Lanza.

7. Healing for kids and teens who are trying to reconcile so much during this time.

8. For Christmas joy. Newtown is a town that always makes a big deal of Christmas and many people have taken down decorations because of the guilt they feel for celebrating.

9. How to address the youth group kids in the coming days, weeks, months.

10. Wisdom for the youth ministry network of 8 guys in the area.

I’d encourage you to take a moment to pray for these 10 requests. Feel free to post in the comment page any encouragement that you’d like to share with him. I’ll be emailing him this post.

If you have any comments you’d like that youth pastor to see, go to the original blog post at http://teenbuilding.wordpress.com/2012/12/19/my-conversation-with-a-youth-pastor-from-newtown-ct/

Confessions of a Lazy Christian

christianity, faith, leadership, youth ministry

I have fallen.

I admit it.

I have inherited the apathy of my culture.

I’ve been lazy.

I suppose it has happened over time. It’s generally not something that happens overnight.

I think Bible college has something to do with it.

So does my called profession.

I got lazy somewhere along the way: confusing exegeting for a Sunday morning with my personal quiet time; mixing up praying with students and praying for students; leading people to God and letting God lead me to Him.

I know we all get to this point…so I am encouraged.

I’ve known this for a very long time, I’ve acknowledged it; I have even prayed for forgiveness countless times and “vowed” this would be the last time.

But.

It wasn’t.

It won’t be.

I’m so thankful for a God who does not see my deeds, but my heart. My heart does yearn for him, but I have been lazy with it.

When I got serious about my relationship with God, it was for my calling to ministry. But now that I’m out of college and out of teaching three times a week at a church, I need to rediscover a relationship with God outside of ministry.

I’m pretty sure Martha Stewart takes time to cook outside of her shows, and I’m pretty sure that P. Diddy raps even when not in rehearsal, and I’m pretty sure that Jeff Gordon races his car down the highway (who doesn’t?).

So I’m pretty sure that God, who I love more than Martha loves cooking, is worth time outside of ministry.

I need to relearn what that looks like.

I decided that next year, I am going to go through the book “Celebration of Discipline” and concentrate on a new discipline every month, slowly re-incorporating them into my every day life. January: Meditation. I will re-figure this out.

No, I don’t think I’m in spiritual danger.

Yes, I want a deeper relationship with God.

No, I’m not taking a hiatus from ministry.

Yes, I will study the Bible outside of when I have to teach it.

I encourage you to take this journey with me.

Heather Lea Campbell

Youth Pastor for Youth Pastors

Evangelicalism