Can a Woman Be a Youth Pastor? @youth_min

Contributions, leadership, women, youthmin.org

female youth pastor

This post originally appeared here: http://www.youthmin.org/can-a-woman-be-a-youth-pastor-yes/

I have grown up in the Southern Baptist Convention, a denomination of Christianity that has more conservative and traditional views of leadership.  I was always told that as a disciple of Jesus Christ, it was my responsibility to spread the Gospel to the ends of the earth.  However, I saw no women leading in my church to provide this example.  The SBC states in The Baptist Faith and Message, “While both men and women are gifted for service in the church, the office of pastor is limited to men as qualified by Scripture.” The SBC is very specific that women are not allowed to pastor, based on verses that say women are not allowed to have authority over men. However, it says nothing about youth pastor.

When many within my church convicted me and convinced me that youth ministry was my vocational calling, I was confused.  I thought that women couldn’t do it because I hadn’t seen it, yet those with the same theology were affirming it.  So I sought it out for myself.  Here’s what I came up with.

Biblically

1 Timothy 2:11-12, perhaps the strongest argument for women not pastoring, says, “Let a woman learn quietly with all submissiveness.  I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet.”  I would like to briefly exegete this for you, but of course I encourage you to look at it for yourself.  There is one command in this passage—“Let a woman learn with all submissiveness.”  “Woman” can mean a woman of any age, but 92/221 times it means specifically “wife.”  “Learn” means to learn by use and practice; to be in the habit of.  “Quietly” does not mean quiet in speech, but humble in spirit; it is one who does not bossily meddle with the affairs of others.  As you may know, women have problems with this, ha!  “Submissiveness” means obedience and meekness.  In verse 22, “to exercise authority” has a very dark connotation: one who kills another with his own hands, one who acts on his own authority, an absolute master, or to exercise dominion.  It is only used once in the Bible, in this passage.  It is very interesting that Paul uses authenteō instead of didaskō, which he usually uses when talking about teaching.  We can turn to other classical literature and we see that 67% of the time, the term is used very negatively as well.  Therefore one can tell that Paul isn’t commanding women not to have any authority over men, but to not have an undue authority.  Once again, Paul uses the same word for “silence” meaning humility.  So altogether, the verses read, “Let a woman learn by practice in humble obedience.  I do not permit women to teach heresy or to be in manipulative authority, but she is to be humble.” Paul isn’t prohibiting women from leading, but encouraging women to learn and avoid being deceived. “Learn” is an active kind of learning that implies action, yet Paul reminds women to do it in humility.

I hate the argument “well maybe he was just talking to their culture and not ours,” because it can often cheapen Scripture.  Yet, if we were to literally enforce this entire chapter in our culture as we have traditionally enforced these few verses, let’s think about this:  A few verses before Paul commands women to dress modestly, yet no one in the church condemns me for my braided hair or my signature pearl earrings.  If verses literally stand the cultural test of time, then we have a lot to change.  The cultural context is clear: There were many teachers in the early church who were deceiving Christians and convincing them of false teachings.  Paul wanted to make sure that women, who weren’t being educated like men, weren’t teaching if they weren’t equipped to.  It would make sense that he commands them to actively learn.

The passage must also be looked within the context of Paul’s teachings as a whole.  Paul consistently said that in Christ, there is no distinction between gender, race, or socioeconomic status (Galatians 3:28, 1 Corinthians 12:13, Colossians 3:11). Paul acknowledged the importance of many women in his ministry.  The Bible has tons of women serving in important roles as teachers and leaders:  Miriam, a prophet (Exodus 15); Deborah, a nation’s leader and judge (Judges 4-5); Esther, an advocate for the Jews (Esther); Priscilla, a teacher (Acts 18:18-26, Romans 1:3); Lydia, Chloe, and Nympha, leaders of the church (Acts 16:13-15, 40; 1 Corinthians 1:1; Colossians 4:15); Phoebe, a deaconess (Romans 16:1); Junia, an apostle (Romans 16:7); Philip’s daughters and other women prophets (Acts 21:9; 1 Corinthians 11:5); etc.

Where is the distinction then?  Why are women allowed to be Sunday School teachers or Children’s Ministers, but not Youth Ministers?  What is the difference?  If you want to argue that women canteach, but not be the main leader: Female youth pastors aren’t running the whole church; there is still someone presiding over her.  If you want to argue that adolescent teenage boys are men andthat’s why a woman can’t teach over them, then we need to figure out the distinguishing characteristics between a child in Sunday School and a man in “big church.”  Our culture hasadded adolescence, and the Bible doesn’t address it.  So how can we assume that the Bible states a particular gender is supposed to serve that role?

Culturally

I strongly believe that culture needs to be considered when choosing leaders.  There are cultures around the world that have female-dominant leaders.  If we were to evangelize in those countries and try to set up churches there, we should not expect for our Westernized church to fit their culture.  It would not work, it would be too uncomfortable, and people wouldn’t want to join such a weird religion.  In America we have women becoming CEOs of major companies, making influential speeches at national political conventions, and being named as some of the most influential people in the world.  Yet, our church does not reflect our culture—we are still very male-dominated in major leadership roles.  I don’t think this is necessarily a bad thing; I think our cultureneeds strong men as leaders.  We are plagued by examples of men who are abusive or absent, and I strongly believe we need stronger men in our churches.  In fact, culturally and Biblically, I personally think the head of the church needs to be a man (see, I’m not a total feminist!).

Traditionally, a male youth leader has made sense: he was the head pastor of the group.  But youth ministry isn’t so much pastor-centered as it was initially, it is volunteer-centered.  Youth ministry is moving more towards discipleship-centered small groups.  Each discipleship group has either its same gender discipling them or a male-female team.  I love this.  Therefore I personally think that the main leader of the program does not matter—either a male or a woman can efficiently lead a program.  And culturally, it makes sense.

But maybe it doesn’t make sense for your culture.  If you are in a more conservative culture, why stir up the pot and have leaders in your church who don’t fit your culture?  When I worked in small town Missouri, I was actually very surprised that I was hired in an SBC church.  Yet I made sense for their culture because they were very discipleship and fellowship-centered and as a woman I have some natural giftings for that sort of thing.

Hormonally

As for the argument that a female cannot complete the role because of her extra estrogen: A female’s estrogen is a gift.  God made men and women in his image, and women reflect God’s more empathetic and caring side.  It’s inarguable that men and women are different and bring different strengths and weaknesses to the table.  We need strong protective leaders just as much as we need empathetic nurturing ones.  Women can get overemotional at times; trust me, there have been times when I have struggled.  I have taken comments too personally, over-invested, and have (yes) cried in youth group before.  But those aren’t completely negative things.  What these qualities show is God’s nurturing, empathetic, gracious side of Him.  God takes our sin too personally, he invests in us even when we don’t invest back, and we are constantly breaking His heart.  Men have beautiful “weaknesses” too—men can be aggressive, tough on their disciples, and can harden in times when people hurt them.  This show’s God’s more judicial and strong side of his character.  Men and women need each other in order to provide a more perfect picture of who God is, and this picture is needed when leading teenagers.  Teenagers need both male and female role models to lead them.

Practically

If I minister to teenagers, am I really going against God’s will?  Can God possibly believe that I am sinning when I minister the Gospel?  I have a lot of issue with this.  Having a relationship with God isnot about doing x, y, and z.  It’s about a heart that seeks to serve Him.  In Christ, we are free.  How can God send me away for sending so many to Him?

I originally wrote this post 6 months ago and put it off because this is essentially my identity that I’m arguing for. I know that I will receive a lot of flack for this post, so I ask that you create discourse in the comments and not dissension   Remember that I’m not saying that women can be the head of the church, but the head of a youth ministry program. I want to create a culture of youth ministry that has men and women working together to minister to our student Saints.  

The Calling Sticks in Corinth

jobs, transition

This morning I heard what I needed to hear.  Like, so bad.

Acts 18.  So, here’s Paul: Paul was asked personally by Jesus to be His witness and to go make disciples.  Paul goes and has some luck and visits 25 cities in 5 years, but is tired and burnt out.  And out of all the places to get led to, God takes him to Corinth.  Corinth is like our modern-day Vegas;  full of idols, prostitutes, and sin.  So Paul, who more than anything probably thinks he needs somewhere calm where he can just relax, has to go probably his hardest place yet.

And what happens? Well, he’s broke. So he begins building tents again for money.  He’s ministering “part-time” because he has to live.  And slowly, God begins to meet his needs.  He brings Priscilla and Aquila to help him make money, and he ends up making friends and disciples. As he makes new friends, old ones come about: Timothy and Silas come and bring financial support.  And Paul, throughout this process, never ceases to proclaim Christ.  It looked different at times, but he knew his calling and stuck with it through all the changes.  God affirms him and then blesses him by having Paul stay there for a year and a half, building some of the strongest churches yet.

Paul, this saint, this man whose writings I read more than anybody else who has ever lived, whose words have shaped my theology and my understanding of Christ–he was burnt out at one point.  He was “part time” at one point.  He was in a place that didn’t appear to meet his needs.  He was stuck doing a job that he wasn’t passionate about in order to be able to live (or even in order to minister!).  He had hardships.  But he stuck through it all, and no matter if he was able to minister “full-time,” “part-time,” or in prison, he just did it.

This is so encouraging to me…and it reminds me how important it is for me to not hold off “ministering” just because I’m not in my ideal position to minister. This may be where God wants me for years to come (how scary is that?), and instead of “sucking it up” I need to embrace it and do what He has called me to do.

The calling sticks…even when in Corinth.

5 Reasons Your Ministry Needs Women Leaders @youth_min

Contributions, leadership, women, youth ministry, youthmin.org

Youth Ministry girl leaders

This post originally appeared here: http://www.youthmin.org/5-reasons-your-ministry-needs-women-leaders/

Your youth ministry needs women leaders.  Before we start arguing the theology of women in ministry, I want you to hear me out:  The purpose of this post is not to advocate for ordained women, or women pastors, or to argue the Pauline view of women.

The purpose of this post is to convince you why you need more women in roles of discipleship, worship, and (yes) teaching.  We need to have a spread of leaders who represent the spread of the audience in gender, color, and background.  So if your youth group is 60% female and 40% male, you should have about that amount of male/female leaders.  I empathize that it may never be perfectly that way, but you should strive for that representation.

Girls need women leaders.

Seems like a no-brainer, yes?  Young girls need to have examples of women who are leading. If we are teaching our young ladies that they need to advance the gospel, then we need to have examples of women who are actively advancing the gospel in their lives personally.  Additionally, girls desperately need to hear from a variety of women.  Girls need to see a picture of themselves in these roles so that they can do it, too.

Boys need women leaders.

For so long, we’ve been doing ministry so that boys can only lead boys, and girls can only lead girls.  However, there are wonderful things that boys need from both men and women, just as girls need both in their development.  When I began my first youth ministry position, a mother came to me and told me that her son was going to be my toughest case, because he doesn’t respect women, and that included his mother.  I remember that first night of youth group–this eighth grader challenged me with every “tough question” he could muster on women, homosexuality, and president Obama.  When I left two years later, that same mother said to me that her son not only respected women, but valued their leadership in his life.  He became more sensitive, more respectful, and even more affectionate towards his own mother.  Boys need men to mentor them, yes; yet having women as leaders will lead them to holding greater value of women.

Male leaders need women leaders.

Men and women compliment each other.  You have a variety of leaders who are more playful, some more disciplinary, some more empathetic, some more protective, some more approachable, and others more on a pedestal; not to mention the variety of skills: building sets, making snacks, teaching, discipling, etc.  Put people in their sweet spots, and play off their strengths. I serve in a ministry where the co-directors are an unrelated male and female, and it’s beautiful watching how the strengths play off of each other, and where one is weak another fills in strong.  Think about it: why does God give children both a mother and a father?  Both are beautiful and have roles that are necessary in leadership.

Women leaders need women leaders.

I will be the first to admit that I need support.  I need examples of strong women in ministry so that I can do ministry, and I definitely see the effects as I begin mentoring women in ministry.  We need discipleship and community, especially as a part of our female identity.  Personally, it can be difficult as a female in a male-dominated profession, and I crave interaction with other ladies.  So ladies, step it up! And… let’s be friends.

God needs women leaders.

God uses women for multiple tasks in the Bible, and in Acts it is said that God will use both sons and daughters to prophesy in his name.  God uses some of the most random people to accomplish His tasks, so never discredit a potential leader based on their gender, age, race, or background.  From Abel to Moses to Deborah to David to Esther to John the Baptizer to Jesus to the Woman at the Well to Paul… (anyone else out of breath?)… God has a knack of loving and using people who just don’t fit the standard mold.

Advice for Insecure Youth Workers @smarterYM

Contributions, depression, identity, leadership, smarterym, youth ministry

 

My latest article is on what I would redo in my first year of ministry if given the chance….. and truthfully, what I struggle with each and every day of my life.  I see a lot of youth workers within the YouthMin.Org Facebook Community struggling with this, and it has caused me to get vocal about calling out youth workers and getting them to be more secure with their selves and their ministries.

So here is my post over at SmarterYM.Com!  Read, share, and comment on it! And show Aaron some love…he’s a Cubs fan :(

http://www.smarterym.com/2013/04/advice-for-insecure-youth-workers.html

Making a Ministry Transition? You’re Not the Only One!

youth ministry, youthmin.org

Recently, YouthMin.Org‘s contributors have been going through quite a few transitions in ministry.  This Monday, one contributor started their first day at his new church.  Last Sunday, another contributor was hired at a new church.  A few months ago, another contributor was promoted within his church.  Last year, I can count of at least two contributors that also changed churches. Last year, YM brought on a new contributor specifically because of the need for his job-guru abilities, as we found many within our Facebook community were also searching. And myself? I’m looking for a church, so hit me up ;)

Since it’s our natural inclination to blog about everything we are going through, especially when related to student ministry, we had quite a few posts come out of these transitions that I encourage you to check out if you are going through transition:

leaving youth ministry

youth pastor spiritual health

Then with the help of David Miller of Slingshot, we brought the YouthMin.Org Job Board! I must say, I’m kind of in love with the way it looks.  Another service YM will offer soon is resume building and interview coaching.   The job board is still pretty new, so I also have a post that I update frequently that is an exhaustive list of different job boards.

YouthMin.org Jobs Openings

We had been kind of MIA from our Roundtables and Tweetchats, so we knew that it just made sense that our first one should be something to tie in all of these wonderful things that we have been bringing to the table…….sooo… here it is :)

I had the privilege of running the Tweetchat, where people tweeted using the hashtag #youthmin. I’m not technologically-savvy enough to embed the conversation (stay updated…haha), but go to the Youth_Min Twitter page and read all the fun things I tweeted!

What are some blog posts, videos, or other resources that have helped you in your transition period?

God is Able

christ, faith, faithfulness, god, identity, jesus, prayer, theology

Saturday I had the blessing of spending a few hours with my teenager sister while she copped my WiFi.  We watched a Mythbusters episode together, where they proved it is scientifically impossible to be buried alive and escape.

This was comforting.

Why? Because that means no Zombie apocalypse. Unless it’s Walking Dead style.

Why else? Because it exemplifies what Christ did.

Now, I know that his grave is way different from our graves…I get that.  But for a while (and don’t cry “heretic” out to me) I forgot how magnificent it is that Christ rose from the dead.

Not only that he rose from the dead, but that he rose others from the dead.  He healed the sick, the  handicapped, and the diseased. He gave hope to the hopeless and changed ridiculously lost people into the examples by which we lead our Christian walks by.

Wow.

For a while…and I hate to admit it…I forgot two central truths:

God can do anything.

God can save anyone.

For a while, I wasn’t sure of this; at least, I wouldn’t have admitted it out loud. In fact, I didn’t even realize that I wasn’t sure of this.  It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I realized that I wasn’t operating my life based off of these truths.  And when you’re not walking, you stop talking.

You see, these truths radically change the way that you live.  It means that nobody is too far of a reach to pray for.  It means that you don’t just complain about people, but pray for a change of heart in them.  And speaking of prayer, it radically changes your prayer life.  Prayer isn’t just a time of asking, but a time of believing that it can actually be done.

 

At one time, these truths provided me hope and comfort…..and I want to cling to them again.  Because, if God can move mountains, then God can save my family from drug addiction.  And if Christ can raise from the grave (which I watched on Mythbusters yesterday is scientifically impossible) then Christ can raise up my teenagers from their sin. If God can lead adulterers and bigots and prostitutes and cheaters and hypocrites to him and use them as leaders, why could God not lead certain people in my life to salvation?

God can do it.

I know he can.

And as soon as I realized this in the least bit, I saw it happen in a huge way. I really did.  God is working in the lives of the people I didn’t think he can save, and he is slowly moving them away from their addictions to sin.  Can I get a stinking Hallelujah?

God is able.

I never again want to get in that dark place of not believing that.

Apathy is not the Problem

christianity, church, leadership, unchurched, youth ministry

Teenagers do well if they want to.  This is a “fact;” there have been many resources trying to help parents, leaders, and youth workers get their teenagers to be less apathetic.  I’ve read some of these, and agree that apathy is certainly a problem.  So, we spend week after week at the pulpits trying to inspire teenagers to commit to change.  We pour into their lives with discipleship, trying to get them to see that someone cares about them, and therefore they should care too.  Yet at the end of the day, we leaders can feel extremely empty and dry.  I know personally that I can pour out everything that I have into students and often times it dries me up emotionally, physically, spiritually.  I read articles that tell me how to motivate, but I feel like I’m doing my best job!  I’m sure everyone who reads this relates to this frustration.

So what if apathy isn’t the problem?

It’s certainly a problem; I mean, if it’s not our teenagers’ lack of motivation, what is stopping them from growing in faith?  Instead of simply trying to inspire them, what if we looked at what they’re apathetic about and encourage change in action and not in behavior?  The mentality is no longer “Teens do well if they want to,” but “Teens do well if the’re able to.”

This model was first described in the book The Explosive Child by Dr. Ross Greene.  Watch him explain more about this idea in this video.  I attended a training session on this idea this last month, and wanted to share what I learned with the youth ministry community.

Under the mentality of “Teenagers do well if they’re able to,” it’s no longer about if they want to or not.  Some teenagers want to advance the gospel but still can’t because all they’re being told is “do it” but they don’t know how.  Some teenagers want to quit a particular sin, but don’t have the tools to stop.  They want to, but can’t.  If you give them the tools, they’ll be able to.  And for those teenagers who don’t want to, even Martin Luther King couldn’t inspire that teen; but if you teach them the tools, they might change without even wanting to.  It’s like a teenager who doesn’t want to go to school–the underlying problem is they think they are stupid.  If you educate them, they can succeed anyway, even if they never wanted to. Ha! Tricksy!

This changes our roles as youth leaders drastically:  We are no longer a motivator, but an equipper.  Greene says that with the old model, our job greatly narrows what the teenager can do in their life–making them want  to do something and nothing more.  Under this new model, pastoring is not as much about transferring our desire for the gospel, but our knowledge of the gospel.  Pastoring isn’t about motivating teenagers with the best fluff and feel-good stuff you got, but about giving them the tools.  Sure, apathy is a problem.  Yes, we should definitely try to inspire and motivate our students to share the same passion as us.  Of course, there will be some teens that don’t change; this model is not the answer to all of your youth ministry problems.  If you give them the tools and they still aren’t changing, then you shouldn’t feel dry as you may have before; you’ve done your best job as a youth pastor.

What do you guys think about this model?  How do you think this may impact the way that you do ministry? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

#LikeForLike

networking, youth ministry

Instagram. I love it. Don’t you? But if you follow your teenagers on there, along with the duck faces and mirror shots, you see a whole lot of:

#likeforlike

#commentforcomment

#followforfollow

Teenagers scream out for affirmation, and in turn they give it to others.  Just look at how popular it is.

securedownload

At first I thought this was a pretty silly idea.  Are you so desperate for people to “like” and comment your pictures, that you will use a hashtag and then like a bunch of other strangers’ stuff?

But then I realized:

  1. It achieves their goals.
  2. So it’s really not that bad of an idea.
  3. We kind of do that as  blogging youth pastors.

 

So what do you guys think? I’m thinking that for every like, comment, or share that I get on a post either here or on YouthMin.Org, I’m going to go to that person’s blog and show them some love too.  I blog so that people can read it and interact with me, and if someone DOES (which can be pretty rare…ha. crickets), then I want to interact with THEM.  Act out what I believe about blogging being a communal thing.

 

My friend Jeremy over at 78Productions started a “Commenting Army.”  I am one of about 15 bloggers who vow to read and comment every week on each other’s stuff.  You don’t have to make such a commitment  BUT I encourage you to reciprocate some of the love you receive on YOUR blog.

 

So what do you think?  Teenagers aren’t so crazy, huh? ;)